The 17 Best Films of 2016

The films I most looked forward to seeing this year were: Batman v. Superman; Civil War; Jason Bourne; Star Trek Beyond; Rogue One; and especially, The Birth of a Nation. 

2016 turned out to be the best year in movies in a while - the best year since 2012, as a matter of fact. Superman's latest incarnation onscreen, a mature Star Wars film (finally) and a modern Western made for some pretty decent surprises.





17. 13th

The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution officially abolished slavery in this country. This abolition had to be an amendment because the protection of slavery as an institution had been incorporated into the Constitution at its inception.  

13th, directed by Ava Duvernay (who also directed 2014's Selma), centers on a loophole built into the amendment which has been used to justify legal human bondage ever since its ratification in 1865. The amendment reads: " Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." The film illustrates how that highlighted section has allowed convicted criminals to be effectively enslaved to this very day. One of the many things the documentary points out is the fact that no distinction whatsoever is made between horrendous crimes and petty misdemeanors. 13th explores the varied interrelated institutions at play including: racism; the relationship between the government and the private for-profit prison industry, which depends on criminal convictions for its survival; the "War on Drugs"; and the powerful, yet secretive coalition between U.S. politicians and Corporate America - ALEC.

ALEC (American Legislative Exchange Council) is a forty-year-old organization comprised of conservative, mostly Republican, lawmakers and corporation heads that has been responsible for drafting legislation aimed at furthering right-wing, corporate agendas for decades. This is roughly the way it works: Group members (both political and private sector) propose bills, which the legislators introduce to their respective legislative bodies, without ever divulging the true origin of said bills. During the 1980s, ALEC opposed U.S. efforts to end apartheid in then-segregated South Africa. Past members include: former Speaker of the House John Boehner; Ohio governor John Kasich; and North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms. While ALEC was effectively outed in 2011 by The Nation and later The New York Times, Bloomberg Businessweek and "The Daily Show", 13th points out that it continues to thrive and remains largely unknown to the American public. After it was dragged out of the shadows, many of ALEC's corporate members cut their ties for fear of fallout from the association, including: Wal-Mart; Google; Facebook; Coca-Cola; Blue Cross and Blue Shield; Wendy's; McDonald's; Amazon; Apple; GE; Procter & Gamble; Ebay; Yahoo!; Microsoft; BP; T-Mobile; and CCA.

CCA (Corrections Corporation of America), the largest owner and manager of private prisons in the country, profits from crime bills it promoted as a member of ALEC before rescinding its membership. The aforementioned crime bills, including the federal three-strikes Law, mandatory minimums, and stop-and-frisk policies insured a steady influx of inmates, largely African-American and Hispanic, into their institutions. The film also points out that ALEC introduced the controversial stand-your-ground law, which allowed the then-29-year-old George Zimmerman to legally pursue and kill unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

Pfizer, AT&T, ExxonMobil and State Farm Insurance are still active ALEC members. 

Duvernay interviews dozens of people on all sides of the issues covered here, including: politicians, including Charles Rangel and Newt Gingrich; professors; social activists, including Angela Davis; former inmates; and social pundits, both conservative and liberal. Video footage (filmed years prior to their canditorial declarations) of the two current presidential front-runners, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, is presented in which each one gives an argument for incarcerating African-American men. Trump is featured in a clip decrying the Central Park 5 -- a group of African-American teenagers who were coerced by NYPD detectives into confessing to raping and violently assaulting a white female jogger, Trisha Meili, in New York's Central Park. He took out full-page ads in New York's four major newspapers advocating capital punishment for the teens. The young men were ultimately exonerated by DNA evidence after having served between six to 13 years in prison. Clinton gives her now-infamous speech labeling African-American teens as "super-predators". It's a wonder that so much ground is covered in the doc's scant 100-minute running time.

One of the most surprising moments of the film is Republican power-broker and Trump-supporter Gingrich declaring that white Americans have no idea what it's like to be African-American.

13th was filmed in secret and on September 30, 2016, became the first documentary to open the New York Film Festival. 13th's subject matter is not common knowledge - but it should be. See it immediately. If you have a Netflix account you can do just that.









16. O.J.: Made in America

Made in America isn't just about the O.J. trial, it's a comprehensive biography of Simpson as a public figure. The 11-month trial itself is complex enough, but this film goes even further and provides context for who he became and why the trial became so politically-charged. It also examines the wide philosophical and political gulf separating Simpson from many other famous African-American sports figures of his era. There's also plenty of attention paid to the stark contrasts between the Heisman-winner and most other African-American Angelenos. The doc is particularly timely in light of the current racial tensions in this country and the near-daily revelations of police misconduct (in some cases, murder) caught on video. There's a reason that America is in the title. It's worth noting that Made currently holds a 100% rating on the review site Rotten Tomatoes. 

Everyone involved is represented here: the prosecution; the defense team; the LAPD; LA civil rights activists; the Goldman and Brown families; the jurors; and even Simpson's life-long friends. The filmmakers were wise enough to not take a side. What they did do was to provide something infinitely more valuable: much-needed insight.

15. The Birth of a Nation

Chris Rock's 2014 movie Top Five features the comedian as a movie star who  headlines the fictional film Uprize as Dutty Boukman, the real-life educated slave who inspired the Haitian Revolution. The Revolution, a slave revolt which resulted in the permanent end of French rule on the island of Hispaniola and the founding of Haiti, has never been represented in an actual movie.

The Birth of a Nation depicts another piece of American history that isn't taught in public schools. The film details, for the first time onscreen, the events that transpired leading up to, during, and following a bloody 1831 slave rebellion in Southhampton County, Virginia. The leader of the uprising, Nat Turner, was a literate slave and minister who led an eventual 70 co-conspirators in a house-to-house mutiny that resulted in the killing of approximately 65 wealthy white men and women. Though he initially planned to begin the revolt on July 4, Independence Day, it was postponed due to illness until Turner interpreted an August 13 solar eclipse as a black man's hand covering the sun and took it as a signal to initiate his revolution.

Turner is portrayed by star, co-producer and co-writer Nate Parker in his directorial debut. Nation premiered to a standing ovation at the Sundance Film Festival back in January where it won the Audience Award and Grand Jury Prize. It was sold to Fox Searchlight Pictures for a record-breaking $17.5 million following a bidding war for the film's worldwide rights. Subsequently, both Parker and the film garnered widespread critical acclaim and Nation immediately became the front-runner for the 2017 Oscar race. However, in the months leading up to the film's October 7 wide release, the national news media seized upon a chapter of Parker's history that was previously largely ignored by the press, despite his 12-year career in Hollywood.

In 1999, as a Pennsylvania State University student, Parker and the film's co-writer Jean McGianni Celestin were accused of raping a fellow student. Parker was found not guilty on all four counts with which he was charged. In 2001, Celestin was sentenced to six months to one year in prison after being convicted of sexual assault. However, his conviction was reversed in 2005 and prosecutors declined to pursue a re-trial. 

The Birth of a Nation's title, in a bit of intentional irony, is appropriated from a 1915 silent movie of the same name that portrayed the Ku Klux Klan as a heroic organization and, in fact, spurred a resurgence in the group's membership and popularity.

Nation is the kind of film that's difficult for African-Americans to watch. Seeing your ancestors being degraded, tortured, mutilated, sexually abused and murdered is no easy thing -- not even when you know that all of these actions are being done to, and carried out by, actors. One particularly disturbing scene details a plantation owner's solution to an attempted hunger-strike. A slave's teeth are broken one-by-one and food is slid down the funnel that is forced down his throat. Another scene reveals an overseer in bed with a little girl. As graphic as they are, not including scenes like these would only serve to further perpetuate a distorted and incomplete view of history. These are the kinds of things that happened to actual people -- repeatedly. And it's important that they be acknowledged -- by everyone.

Nation is by no means the first film to present American slavery on the big screen. In fact, 12 Years a Slave, also based on a true story, won the Best Picture Oscar at the 86th Academy Awards. What makes Nation the first of its kind is its presentation of an actual slave insurrection against plantation owners. 

An old adage states: "History is written by the winners." Is it odd that Spartacus, and now Nat Turner, both leaders of ultimately unsuccessful slave rebellions, have made it to the big screen and the Haitian Revolution never has?









14. Manchester by the Sea

Manchester by the Sea is about two fathers. Single parent Joe Chandler is a great father to his son Patrick. Though Patrick's mother abandoned the family, Joe provides a great life for him. He even makes arrangements to continue providing for his son after his own imminent death from congenital heart disease. When that inevitable day arrives, Joe's little brother Lee Chandler (the other father) finds out that he's been named his nephew's legal guardian in accordance with Joe's will.

The problem is that although Lee and Patrick used to be close, the former has distanced himself from most people ever since he lost his own three children to a tragic house-fire and has no desire to take on any familial responsibilities. For Lee, being a father was so painful that he no longer wants any part of it.









13. The Red Pill

12. The Accountant

11. Free State of Jones

10. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

9. Boo!

I've never been that crazy about seeing yet another black dude in a dress so it took me awhile to get around to watching this movie. But Tyler Perry shocked the shit outta me. This thing is funny as fuck and has plenty of respect for masculinity. I'm pretty sure it holds the title for the Tyler Perry movie with the most cursing too.












8. Civil War

For the second year in a row, two big movie franchises released films that told almost the same story. In 2015, Mission: Impossible's Rogue Nation and the unwatchable James Bond flick, Spectre, were both about the revelation that underground international intelligence organizations existed and were out to wreak havoc on the world. Each movie also featured British superspy/assassin and a villain behind a wall made of bullet-proof glass.

In 2016, two blockbusters told the story of superheroes involved in mass destruction and accidentally causing mass civilian casualties during their struggles against super-powered enemies, and the subsequent attempts at government oversight of said heroes. One of those films is Batman v. Superman and the other is this movie. 

Civil War is a very loose adaptation of the 2006 comic book storyline of the same name. In the movie version, the U.S. Department of Defense and the U.N. step in after the last straw in Avengers-related mayhem -- the Scarlet Witch's accidental killing of a bunch of bystanders during a mission to catch The Winter Soldier's Brock Rumlow. During a meeting between the team and the U.S. Secretary of Defense, some of the previous missions that ended in collateral damage come up, including: the NYC invasion; the heli-carrier crashes in D.C.; Iron Man's fight with the Hulk in Wakandia; and the Sokovia battle. But, after about 10 seconds of that, they move on to more grinning, action and slapstick. Aside from a grieving mom slapping the shit outta Tony Starks for accidentally killing her son, and Helmut Zemo's revenge mission, there's no real focus on the actual victims. Speaking of victims, it seems to me that the Scarlet Witch should've had a much harder time getting over her brother's death in The Age of Ultron -- her twin brother and only family, at that. But, what do I know?

And, hey, Ant-Man's finally a part of the team. But, if he was gonna be included, why change the Ultron story so that Starks and Bruce Banner are his creators instead of Henry Pym? It's a fairly fundamental change, too. I gotta say, that puts a whole lotta dirt on Starks' resume. He was an international arms dealer and he devised a killer robot that nearly succeeded in destroying the planet? This guy's beginning to look like a threat to humanity. It's a lot.

It was also disappointing to see the Falcon in a much less realistic costume and the stupid drone is one of those things you leave in the comic book.  Actually, it's too dumb for comics, too. Black Widow is still running around on combat missions having not bothered to tie her hair back, and this time around, despite the fact that she's superpower-free, she's not bothering to bring firearms along. Wtf. It's stuff like this that makes it a good idea for neither of them to have their own movie.  And they were both so great in The Winter Soldier. As they say: "One step forward and two steps back." As popular as it is, Civil War definitely registered a few spikes on the ridiculosity meter.

The best things about Civil War are: Captain Rogers' finally-resumed hunt for the Winter Soldier; the Black Panther's and Zemo's respective quests for vengeance; and the brawl involving Iron Man, the Captain and Bucky. By the way, props to the Russo brothers for not putting Zemo in costume. It was also nice to see Rogers finally get some action -- even if it was only a kiss. 

BvS has been criticized for not being "fun". But, if Falcon and company don't take this stuff serious, why should we? For now, The Avengers is still the reigning champ of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The Winter Soldier is a very close second. Civil War's not great, but it is entertaining. In the future, maybe the Avengers should take a cue from T'Challa and Zemo -- and get serious.






7. Almost Christmas

If you're like me, you might've seen the poster or the trailer for Almost Christmas and figured it was another run-of-the-mill, cheesy, holiday movie full of sappiness and drama -- basically, a Christmas chick flick. But in this case you'd be wrong.

On the surface it seems like it fits right in with A Madea Christmas, The Best Man Holiday, The Perfect Holiday and even Soul Food.

But this is different. There are no dudes wearing dresses, no stupid hijinks and no stereotypes. There's no scheme to raise a bunch of money to save something in a handful of days (the family home, the family business, etc.) and no soap opera-style family secret. Just people interacting with each other -- but in funny ways. 

Another thing -- there's also no matriarch holding all of the various cousins, uncles and aunts together. Shockingly enough, Almost Christmas' Meyers family is led and held together not by grandma, but grandpa -- a widower with brains and principles. When was the last time you saw that in a movie?

Almost is the funniest movie most of the actors onscreen have appeared in. It's one of two hilarious 2016 movies for J.B. Smoove (the other is Barbershop 3). And fellas, two of the cast-members, Gabrielle Union and Keri Hilson, have only gotten better-looking with time. Trust me. Or don't trust me -- see for yourself.

Like I said, Almost Christmas isn't a chick flick and it's not a family movie either. It's a funny movie that happens to be about a family. It may seem a little early to call it but I think we've got a holiday classic on our hands. Almost Christmas debuts this Friday -- almost Thanksgiving. You should see it. And if you still wanna see a dude dressed up like an old lady, there's always that Boo! b#llsh@t.






6. Barbershop 3

I never saw this coming, but Barbershop 3 (it's actually subtitled The Next Cut, which no one wants to say) is miles ahead of the first two Barbershops in nearly every way. It's free of the hijinks and shenanigans that defined the those movies, while still managing to be funnier and more mature than both. Most of the ridiculousness this time around stems from Cedric the Entertainer's character, Eddie. But don't completely discount the first two movies because B3 does a admirable job of maintaining continuity. The previous installments provide context for this one. Many of the characters have undergone tremendous growth while still remaining true to their core personalities (14 years later, Terri still loves her apple juice).

For two years in a row, Ice Cube has been involved in films that address the problem of inner-city violence. This year, he stars in B3, which surprisingly, maturely confronts gang culture in Chicago and its effect on his character's son (who was a newborn in the first movie) and his community. In 2015, he produced Straight Outta Compton, a biopic about his early rap career that also focused on gang culture in his native Los Angeles and its effect on him and his community (and the other members of his group NWA). His actual son portrayed him in the movie. How do you like that?

Barbershop 3 isn't the only recent movie to tackle the reality of regular shootings that plagues America's 3rd largest city. 2015's Chiraq, which was hated by everyone except professional film critics (including residents of inner-city Chicago), also chose the city's urban death toll as its subject. But where Chiraq is an idiotic unfunny musical-comedy that utilizes rhyming dialogue and fictional street gangs that are less convincing than West Side Story's Sharks and Jets to convey its message, Shop puts the laughing aside and sobers up for every scene involving the GDs (Gangster Disciples) and Vice Lords, actual gangs native to Chicago, and the only singing you'll hear is performed by the groups (such as Earth, Wind & Fire) who recorded the classic R&B songs played throughout the movie. Chiraq also features John Cusack as Father Mike Corridan, a movie version of Father Michael Pfleger (an outspoken Roman Catholic priest and social activist from the South Side of Chicago), while B3 gives us a video clip of the genuine article giving an interview on a news program. But where Spike Lee's satire presents a cascade of man-bashing and takes pains to highlight the moral and intellectual superiority of its female characters and undermine masculinity, Cube and company provide balance -- a roster of both men and women possessing both flaws and strengths. In other words: Real people. 

Native Chicagoan Common was recruited for the final installment of the trilogy, which provides the movie with a pretty surreal moment when his Rashad squares off against Cube's Calvin -- a point in the story that immediately brings to mind the feud between the two rappers which peaked exactly 20 years ago. Ironically (maybe the intentional kind), B3 begins with Calvin giving a rundown of some of the things he loves about Chi-town and his history with the city, before delving into what he views as an ugly turn the metropolis took along the way. Used to Love HER -- the song that incited 90s hostilities between the two MCs -- features Common detailing his love of Hip Hop music and his history with the art form, before describing a series of events that led to his disenchantment with the genre.

Speaking of rappers, the movie is a veritable 90s Hip Hop reunion when you consider that Eve also makes a significant contribution to the film. Even Biggie shows up. Not really, but Jamal Woolard, who portrayed Big in the biopic Notorious, does make an appearance.

No one in Barbershop 3 is gonna be nominated for an Oscar next year, but every single character (with the exception of Eddie) seemed like a genuine person -- complete with individual mannerisms and personal quirks (as opposed to gimmicks). And that is usually the entire point of acting. As strange as it sounds (considering it's led by the same man who starred in the Ride Along movies), Barbershop 3 is the smartest and absolute best comedy of the year.





5. Patriot's Day

4. The Magnificent Seven

3. Hell or High Water*

One of the best modern Western films (and best films period) to be released in 2016 is the movie Hell or High Water. This movie is great on so many levels.

First, the storyline is so original from anything that has been released in recent times. Without giving anything away, what at first appears to be just a "bank robber" film ends up being more than that. You have to understand the reason for what has transpired and, while you personally might not agree with it, you do feel for the main characters and why things develop as they do. Also, the directing is wonderful and the pace just enough to keep you intrigued and makes you want to see what happens to the characters. Next is the cinematography/scenery. The setting of this film is among the ranches in Texas and the visual imagery is just amazing. It is like each scene, particularly when viewing the countryside and ranches, is a work of art. There is one scene in particular where the two brothers, played excellently by Chris Pine and Ben Foster, are enjoying some time with each other on their ranch and no talking is even needed. You can sense the connection between them as family and the view/backdrop adds so much to that scene. Amazing work.

Finally, the acting. Each person in this film is unbelievable, especially Chris Pines and Jeff Bridges. Yes, Jeff B. once again, I believe, outdoes himself. It is like he IS his character and the emotions he exudes just make you feel like he is a real person. I was pleasantly surprised by Chris Pine and he should be nominated this year, in my opinion, for his performance. This is a wonderful, wonderful film and one I will remember for a long time!







2. Batman v Superman

Everything was rushed. Everything happened way too fast. Have the shot-callers at Warner Bros. never heard the parable about the two bulls on the hill? If you take your time and stay focused on the big picture, maybe you get multiple installments that exceed a billion dollars in sales. Chasing the quick payoff gets you a record-breaking opening and a nauseatingly steep drop-off. They had every reason to take things slow. Art, cinematic history, logic and plain, old greed all dictated that a movie with all these people not be the follow-up to Man of Steel. It takes time to tell a story properly (especially one with so much riding on its success). If anybody deserves more than one solo movie, it's Superman. This isn't Thor we're talking about. Everyone knows who he is. When done right, we want more. We were just reintroduced to him three years ago. And he'd just started to become involved with Lois. Time to get familiar with him was sorely needed. Plus, a trilogy, or at the very least a solo sequel, would've had the added benefit of lining the filmmakers' pockets with much more dough. Why would studio executives turn that down? Did these guys even attend Business School??

We all could have done with a less manic Luthor. It seemed like he was doing a Joker impression. If only he were more subdued and thoughtful like, say, Helmut Zemo in Civil War, which, ironically, is one of the criticisms of that movie espoused by professional film reviewers. Luthor's histrionics would've fit right in with all of the goofy goings-on in that thing. I was really hoping to see the more mature Lex -- no, Alexander -- from the Superman animated series, not Mark Zuckerberg on coke. It would be nice if Luthor used his prison sentence as an opportunity to bulk up, but we all know Jesse Eisenberg's not gonna hit the gym.  

There were too many people in this thing. Wonder Woman, Cyborg, Aquaman, and maybe even Doomsday should've all been saved for a later movie. There was just too much going on. Peter Jackson was heavily criticized for expanding his planned two-shot Hobbit story into a trilogy. But, then again, the third film (The Battle of the Five Armies) was the only one I liked -- and it generated nearly $1 billion at the box office.

But, even with all its problems, it's not a 27% film. It's the very first film to take Superman seriously -- after revealing himself to the world. Man of Steel is unmatched in presenting his origin, but BvS actually considers Superman's effect on society -- much like The Dark Knight examined the unintended consequences of Batman's actions on Gotham City. Director Zack Snyder was undoubtedly tempted by the notion of being the first to use the gimmicky title, but Batman's name shouldn't have even been included, much less come first (Dawn of Justice is even dumber).


BvS and Civil War basically tell the same story: A clever, but physically powerless guy manipulates two famous superheroes into fighting each other from behind the scenes. One of the heroes is a billionaire, genius, heir to a business empire who uses technology to fight crime and the other is abnormally strong and exceptionally strait-laced. Because the heroes have caused a tremendous amount of collateral damage, government oversight seems inevitable. 

The difference is that where Civil War talks about the destruction left in the wake of the heroes' battles accompanied by quick snippets of news footage, BvS shows the toll it has taken on human lives -- both physical and psychological. The grand-scale of aerial combat to save basically, everybody from Superman's perspective in Man of Steel is contrasted here with the ground-level terror of those same people who only see themselves as innocent victims and bystanders from Bruce Wayne's perspective. But, no one is a bystander when the entire planet is in danger.

This film is wholly about Superman and his place in the world. The exploration of Superman as a savior and an uncontrollable, potential threat is brilliant. He's simultaneously feared and almost worshipped as a deity. The comparisons of certain people in the film to Judeo-Christian figures are magnificent. This is a superhero film with philosophy. There's even a nod to Nietzsche. In fact, The Superman would have been a much better title than what the filmmakers settled on (Dawn of Justice is so corny, I can't even say it without shaking my head). Who he is, what his intentions are, whether he can be trusted, how he should be used. These are all questions that plague the global community, of which Bruce Wayne is only one member. 

Even so, Batman was incredible. As much anxiety as there was surrounding Ben Affleck's casting, it's clear that Daredevil simply wasn't the superhero movie for him. Or anyone else. This one is. Christian Bale is still the best Bruce Wayne, but Affleck has surpassed Michael Keaton as the greatest Batman. I, for one, can't wait to see him put the mask on again.

BvS has been widely criticized for essentially being too serious (i.e., more serious than any given MCU movie) and humorless (i.e., lacking the non-stop silliness present in any given MCU movie). Is it weird that critics simultaneously adored the original Jason Bourne trilogy (exceedingly serious, without a joke in sight) and Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (wall-to-wall yucks bordering on stupid-as-shit)? Or is it hypocrisy?






1. Rogue One

Star Wars is finally back. Not a remix of the first two films -- an original Star Wars story. Last year's The Force Awakens had a lot of style but not much substance. Let's be real, it was more hype than greatness. Rogue One is actually about something.

The movie is marketed as a "stand-alone Star Wars story". But that's not really true. In reality, Rogue is a prequel and is key to the events that follow. There's also a small acknowledgement of what came before. But fortunately, it's nothing like those pre-Empire movies. Rogue has more in common with The Empire Strikes Back than those things.

To be honest, it's more like Empire than any other Star Wars movie. Vader is in beast-mode, the good guys aren't angels, there's no teddy-bear army and the "heroes" take extremely heavy losses.

In fact, this movie makes up for the wack stuff in Return of the Jedi. For instance, you get a battle that alternates between land and space -- but without the Care Bears.

Rogue One makes me never wanna watch the prequel trilogy, The Force Awakens or even Return of the Jedi again. Yeah, I said it. I definitely don't give a sh*t what happens to Kylo Ren, Rey and Poe Dameron in the future. At this point all the Star Wars saga needs is the original, The Empire Strikes Back and Rogue One. There's your new trilogy right there.

Darth Vader is back too. Not a lame, groupie grandkid trying hard to be live up to the family name and not George Lucas' rewritten version of history -- this time the actual, choke-the-sh*t-out-you-quick, murder-my-own-officers-without-breaking-a-sweat Darth Vader. Not once does he break outta character and yell, "Nooooo!" like he did in Revenge of the Sith and the Special Edition Return of the Jedi (Smh).

If we're lucky and if Lucasfilm is smart, this is a sign of things to come and not a stand-alone great story.

- Ran and *John Z.

Updated 12/23/16

The Most Overrated Films of 2016

11. Zootopia

 Check out Devin Faraci's excellent summation of Zootopia.

10. Arrival

Zzzzzzzz. I'm up, I'm up. Hold on, let my wipe the cold outta my eyes. Man, that was a good nap. Ok. Here we go. 

I feel like I got tricked into watching Lifetime. As far as peaceful alien introduction movies go, Arrival is much, much better than Contact. But it's still boring. I think it's safe to say that this will turn out to be Forrest Whitaker's worst alien film of 2016. Arrival is one of the most pretentious sci-fi flicks of all time. If you wanna get some well-needed rest you should definitely see this movie.

9. Hush
Hush isn't a bad movie at all. But 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? GTFOH.

8. Midnight Special

This would probably make a pretty good book, but as a movie it's just boring -- and anti-climactic. 

7. Nocturnal Animals

6. Doctor Strange 
If you wanna see Inception, watch Inception. Skip this lame rip-off.

5. Hail, Caesar!

The Coens can do better than this boring mess. It looks like old Hollywood -- but without the entertainment.

4. Star Trek Beyond
They actually resorted to incorporating hip-hop and rock music into the plot. Smh. Screw it, at least we got two great movies out of the Star Trek reboot. Star Wars wins.

3. The Lobster 
Just because it's weird doesn't mean that it's good.

2. Neighbors 2 

1. Sausage Party
Sausage Party is supposedly brilliantly subversive. Riiight -- it's just dumb. Had Adam Sandler written and starred in this exact same movie (and he would have if Seth Rogen hadn't beaten him to it) critics would hate it.





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