Thursday, April 27, 2017

John's Early Review of "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword"




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Ok, Cinema Fiends...made it to the advance screening of 'King Arthur' tonight and have to admit it was pretty good. It was definitely a Guy Ritchie film - plenty of slow/fast paced sequences, action and music. While I personally loved the first half of the film - for reasons I will keep to myself for those interested in seeing the movie - it was still a good action film overall. All the actors were great - Charlie Hunnam definitely has a movie career in his future - but I have to admit I got the biggest kick out of seeing the cameo by David Beckham (the man still has the coolest haircut of any man on the planet) and 'Littlefinger' from Game of Thrones plays a part as well! This is a good summer (early though it is) and popcorn film! I would give this a 'B' rating overall.



 - John Z.





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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Is the Wonder Woman Movie White-Washed?



by Ran 


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 Wonder Woman's twin sister Nubia.


Two women of African ancestry figure very prominently in Wonder Woman's history. One in particular, Nubia, is actually her sister -- her twin sister. Nubia made her debut in 1973 in issue #204 of DC Comics' Wonder Woman where she defeats WW in combat. She's also known by the title, The One True Wonder Woman.

The other, Philippus, trained a young WW to be an Amazonian warrior. Philippus made her comics debut in 1987 in issue #1 of the second volume of Wonder Woman. She's one of the original Amazons who rose from Captain of the Guard to General of the Amazon army and, eventually, Queen. Philippus also established a romantic relationship with WW's mother, Hippolyta.

There were very short glimpses of at least one dark-skinned woman in the origin trailer (see for yourself, below) for Wonder Woman, debuting this June, but it's not clear who she is. This could be Philippus as there's accompanying narration directing someone to train WW. And of course good trailers don't reveal much. But after the recent egregious casting of Aloha, Ghost in the Shell, Doctor Strange and Urban Myths you gotta wonder. So whether Nubia, Philipus or some unnamed, miscellaneous dark-skinned Amazon appears in the movie remains to be seen. 




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 Philippus - Amazonian general and Wonder Woman's combat instructor.



 





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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

September 2017 Movie Trailers




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It'll be worth going to the movies this September just to see Sanaa Lathan's return to the big screen.





September 1


Animal Crackers





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Unlocked





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September 8


It





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The two-and-a-half minute trailer alone looks 100 times better than the 1990 tv movie. This could potentially turn out to be the best movie adaptation of a Stephen King book and the creepiest clown movie in history.











Home Again





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The Good Catholic





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September 15


American Assassin





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They had me at, "...also starring Sanaa Lathan...".










September 22


Kingsman: The Golden Circle





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If the sequel follows the first movie's trend of body-bagging world leaders, we'll be seeing Donald Trump get merced.










The Lego Ninjago Movie





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Stronger





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Victoria & Abdul





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September 29



American Made





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DEA informant Barry Seal









American Made is the story of airline pilot-turned drug smuggler-turned informant, Barry Seal. Seal worked with the Medellin drug cartel in the 1980s before becoming a federal informant and ultimately walking away from the witness protection program.

As I mentioned earlier, Tom Cruise is generally pretty particular when choosing film roles, and director Doug Liman oversaw Edge of Tomorrow, so the odds of American Made (formerly titled Mena) ending up on the right side of the Cruise catalog are fairly decent. On the other hand, Liman also directed Jumper. So we'll see.











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Sunday, April 23, 2017

The 11 Best Movies About Trees




Every year, 24 hours are set aside for the appreciation and celebration of trees. That's Arbor Day in a nutshell. Nah, not those trees -- they're celebrated on 420 (and every other day, depending who you ask). Arbor Day is devoted to real trees -- redwoods, oaks, maple, etc. Not all of these movies are explicitly about trees but they are featured pretty prominently.






11. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn














10. The Tree of Life






The Tree of Life is a philosophical movie in which middle-aged Jack, in the midst of an existential crisis, reflects back on his entire life -- especially his 1950s childhood and his relationship with his pops -- who he felt was too hard on him at the time.

The best scene is the opening, which takes you on a ride from the Big Bang through the creation of life to the time of dinosaurs on through to Jack as a kid in Waco, Texas.










9. FernGully: The Last Rainforest




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FernGully is the movie that Avatar ripped-off. While that movie is set on another planet, FernGully takes place in an Australian rainforest. One of the primitive fairies who lives there, Crysta, has to stop a logging company and a pollution monster from cutting down all of the trees and destroying their way of life. Crysta's grandmother, Magi, is the queen of her tribe. Of course, Crysta meets a human dude who's brought into her world and she promptly saves his life. He actually works for the logging company but keeps that fact secret from Crysta and the rest of the fairies. The two of them fall for each other and the dude (Zak) decides to help the fairies drive the other humans away.









8. A Monster Calls





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The monster in the story is a humongous yew tree that can talk. Not just three words like Groot, either. This thing is a storyteller.

Twelve-year-old Conor, whose mother is dying from cancer, is a captive audience to the tree's stories and he's warned that he'd better reciprocate with a story of his own -- or else. On top of all that, because mom is sick, Conor has to move in with his mean grandma and he gets beat up by the school bully on a daily basis. He just can't win.






 



7. The Happening






The Happening is a cautionary tale about the dangers of not being good to trees. If you haven't seen it, it's best that you know as little as possible going in. Jay-Z told you, "The Streetz is Watching." Well, maybe the woods are too. Watch yourself.









6. The Two Towers





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The Two Towers is the middle of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Lots of new characters are introduced, including the king of the forest -- Treebeard. Sounds like a drunk up pirate but Treebeard aka Fangorn, is an Ent -- a 14-foot-tall walking tree. He may be what Groot would've been if he hadn't rebelled and agreed to be the sidekick of the raccoon version of Tommy from Goodfellas.

Treebeard ends up leading an army of thousands of trees in an attack against the wizard, Saruman, who's been threatening the forest. TB's not the type to wait for Smokey the Bear -- he gets his own hands (branches, I guess) dirty.

In case you were wondering, Towers isn't only about trees. There are plenty of dudes, wizards, orcs, elves and hobbits to go around too -- if you like that sort of thing. 










5. The Tree





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After eight-year-old Simone witnesses her father's fatal heart attack, she comes to believe that his spirit resides in the Moreton Bay fig tree next to her house. After some initial skepticism, her mom and brother, Lou, are convinced as well.









4. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2





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After sacrificing himself for the rest of the team in the first Guardians of the Galaxy, Groot started to regrow from a seed. This time around he's a sapling, fresh out the pot, and while not much help this time around (a good bit of his teammates' time is spent baby-sitting him), he's more fun to watch than ever.  









3. Guardians of the Galaxy







After I saw the trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy, I had no interest in seeing it. But then, critics kept comparing the main character, Peter Quill, to Han Solo. Now, I love space action and The Force Awakens was more than a year away at that point, so I figured Guardians might be a good way to get a Star Wars fix in the meantime. Wrong. None of it reminded me of Star Wars or Han Solo.

But it wasn't all bad. The best thing about it is the bounty hunter team of Rocket and Groot, who are pretty funny. Rocket is a trash-talking raccoon with a short-man complex and Groot is a tree that walks and sort-of talks -- he only says three words. Groot turns out to be the biggest hero of the bunch too. He sacrifices himself to save the rest of the team.










2. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3




Unfortunately, the movie's resident tree, Groot, is less exciting and not as funny than he is in two of his previous appearances (Infinity War and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, respectively) but he does show off new abilities.









1. Infinity War





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Groot almost helps to save the day in Infinity War. Almost, because intergalactic tyrant Thanos still manages to chalk up a "W" after Thor hits him with his new axe, which Groot helped to create. The teen twig donated a limb for use as Stormbreaker's (the axe) handle.





Updated 7/13/23

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Thursday, April 20, 2017

The 20 Best Stoner Movies of All Time






These movies demonstrate Hollywood's continued commitment to going green. If you watch 'em the right way it's gonna take a lot more than popcorn to satisfy your munchies. This year, 420's the day before Friday, you took the day off from work -- you ain't got sh#t to do...





20. Still Smokin'





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Cheech & Chong go international and take their talents to Amsterdam. While in Europe for a film festival, Cheech, with his bushy moustache, gets mistaken for Burt Reynolds. Still Smokin' has the doobie-ous distinction (see what I just did) of being the legendary duo's very last stoner movie.









19. Up In Smoke





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This is the movie that started it all. It's not the best stoner movie but it is the first -- so show some respect. Pioneering trailblazers Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong bring their stand-up act to the movies and smuggle a van made of weed across the border -- with "Smokey" hot on their tail.









18. High School





Pretend you're the smartest guy in school. After four years of being a world-class geek you finally loosen up a little bit and smoke one for the first time. But the next day you find out the school'll be giving everybody piss tests. Now what?? Switch brownies at the bake sale with home-made pot brownies, of course. If everybody pops positive on the tests, nobody gets in trouble. Right? Genius.









17. Leaves of Grass





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Twins. One's a college professor. The other's a redneck and hydroponic bud dealer. When the dealer gets killed with a crossbow, the brother has to do what he hoped he would never do: Go back home to Oklahoma.









16. Mac & Devin Go to High School







Snoop and Wiz Khalifa do Redman and Method Man one better by taking it all the way back to high school -- literally.

Devin (Wiz) is the smartest nerd in school. Mac (Snoop) is a 15-year senior who sells weed to the students and the staff. The two couldn't be any different or like each other less but, of course, they get stuck together as partners on a science project. Devin needs a good grade in order to make Valedictorian. Mac has to pass in order to graduate -- and to beat the new teacher on campus.










15. Cannabis Evolution













14. How High?





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Friday hit theaters the same year (1995) that Method Man and Redman teamed up for the hip-hop classic that signaled the beginning of a new group and jump-started a whole new career for both of them. And the music video for the song that started it all is basically a mini-movie -- the updated version early stoner comedy Nice Dreams as Red and Meth ride around New York in a smoked-out ice cream truck. So it was only a matter of time (six years) until the duo made the big-screen version.

It goes down like this: Genius-grower Silas uses the cremated ashes of his recently deceased friend Ivory to fertilize a pot plant. After he and best friend Jamal smoke the buds, they become smart enough to get into Harvard. And nobody's safe. Not sorority chicks. Not even the Womens' Studies professor.

It's Red and Meth's movie but Mike Epps as pimp Baby Powder kinda steals the show. It's also one of the last movies that Lark Voorhies (Lisa from Saved by the Bell) made before she lost her damn mind.









13. Ted







If your best friend was a teddy bear when you were five, you probably dropped him like he was hot by the time you turned seven. But if that same bear could walk and talk...well, hell, you might hang out with him for life. By the time you were a grown-up you'd probably watch tv with him, drink beer with him and get blowed with him too.









12. Attack the Block





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11. The Stoned Age





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It's the 1970s and Joe and Hubbs are on a mission. They think they may have a shot of pulling two chicks that are only gonna be in town for the night and since teenage girls just wanna have fun, they need to get their hands on some liquor. What goes great with alcohol on a late night? Weed. The catch is that they have to hook up with the chicks and haul ass before the ex-con who's on his way to party with 'em shows up.









10. Your Highness





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What if Game of Thrones was written by stoners? That's Your Highness. Dragons, wizards, a damsel in distress and lots of weed.









 9. Half Baked





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What do you do when your weakling buddy is charged with killing a police horse and needs to be bailed out ASAP? Start a weed delivery service to raise the money, of course. Duh. Check out Dave Chappelle, pre-Chappelle Show, in his best movie. Tommy Chong, Snoop and Jon Stewart are all along for the ride too.











8. Friday After Next





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It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens South Central, LA. Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens Pops and Uncle Leroy are on the grill. Craig and Day-Day have adopted Chico -- the dog that belonged to the eses from Next Friday. But they get robbed and when the cops show up they confiscate their pot plant. Ain't that a b#tch??

The original Friday is the best of the bunch, but Ice Cube made up for comedians Chris Tucker and Bernie Mac (R.I.P.) being M.I.A. by surrounding himself with Mike Epps, John Witherspoon, Don "D.C." Curry, Rickey Smiley, Sommore and Katt Williams. It's Christmas -- California-style.










7. Next Friday







In this follow-up to Friday (Duh) Craig leaves the hood and moves in with his uncle Leroy in the suburbs. So as far as smoking partners goes, Smokey's out and cousin Day-Day is in. It's the 1st of four stoner movies for Mike Epps.









6. The Culture High





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The Culture High examines the debate over the legalization of marijuana and the politicas behind its criminalization.

Snoop, Wiz Khalifa, Richard Branson and Joe Rogan, a former cop, journalists, and others weigh in. It'll expand your mind whether you light up or not.










5. Savages





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Did you know that weed makes up 60% of the money that Mexican drug cartels take home? Savages is all about what happens when one of those cartels tries to muscle in on two white dudes' Mom & Pop business -- a corporate takeover, except gangster style. Ordinarily, a situation like that would be over in about 10 minutes but in this case one of the white guys is a Navy SEAL.









4. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels





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A plan to rob weed dealers goes up in smoke in Guy Ritchie's directorial debut and much-improved British answer to Reservoir Dogs. An emphasis on dialogue and a clever story make up for the low-budget of this heist movie that launched the careers of Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones.









3. Shottas






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Jamaica already had a certified classic gangster movie with 1972's The Harder They Come, but it wasn't until Shottas' 2002 rlease that modern international audiences recognized the Carribbean's 4th largest island as a cultural force onscreen. Reggae had long since invaded radio waves around the globe, but Shottas, like Harder a generation before, provided the accompanying visuals that served to add another dimension to the infectious stories of suffering and oppression popularized by the legendary Bob Marley, his peers and those that followed in their footsteps.

Appropriately enough, Marley's son Ky-Mani headlines Shottas' cast. He and fellow-dancehall artist Spragga Benz teamed up to form the best gangster duo since Tommy and Sincere.

And, oh yeah, the movie's most memorable scene involves a weed robbery.










2. Belly




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Belly's not really about weed. But it is about a hustler who sells weed to get back on his feet after his other drug business hits the wall. And just about everybody in the movie smokes -- from dopeboys to girlfriends to high school girls to 12-year-old kids.









1. Friday







After 20 years on top, Cheech and Chong had no choice but to abdicate the stoner thrones and make room for Smokey and Craig. But co-writer and star Ice Cube didn't forget to pay homage. Check out Big Worm's ice cream truck. there are plenty of Cypress Hill posters on the bedroom wall too, by the way. Who knew Cube was so funny? Prior to this movie he mostly just scowled and talked gangsta sh#t. This is the movie that showed that even a boy n the hood can have a sense of humor. Everybody knew Chris Tucker was hilarious but Friday is Chris at his best -- not to mention the movie that turned the Def Comedy Jam stand-up into a certified movie star. Dead Presidents, The Fifth Element, Money Talks, Jackie Brown and, of course, the Rush Hour movies were right around the corner.

Friday is a celebration of that first time -- the one you'll always remember (Probably the only one you'll remember). That magical time when you had virgin lungs and somebody convinced you to take that very first pull -- and you probably pulled too hard, felt like your chest was on fire and coughed your head off. In this case, newly-fired Crai
g is the first timer and his boy Smokey, a straight-up pothead, gives the rationale that because he has no responsibilities and no other plans, he might as well. Peer pressure like a mf.

Friday's almost the inverse of Seinfeld. Instead of a couple of rich, weird, white New Yorkers and their friends sitting around drinking coffee at a diner in between crazy adventures, you've got a couple of broke African-American dudes from southern California and their friends sitting around smoking on the front porch in between crazy adventures. You know what though? Maybe Seinfeld and Friday aren't that different after all. Kramer only had a job for a few days and George was outta work for a good bit himself.

Anyway, this is one of the most quoted comedies of all time:

"Bye, Felicia."

"You got knocked the f#ck out!"

"Don't you ever, ever, ever, ever come around here no more."

"You ain't got no job...it's Friday...you ain't got sh#t to do."

"Hey, Miss Parker! When we gon' f#ck, Miss Parker??"





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