Tuesday, April 16, 2024

The 39 Best Movies of 2023

 



While 2023 will be remembered for an unprecedented number of high-profile, big-budget flops (leading to the mistaken belief that the comic book movie bubble has popped), it also gave us a multitude of rewatchable films. Here are the best 39:





39. Five Nights at Freddy's





Though it wasn't the highest-grossing (How could it be when it was simultaneously released in theaters and on streaming?) video game adaptation of the year (that honor inexplicably goes to The Super Mario Bros. Movie), Five Nights at Freddy's is far and away the best. 









38. Beyond Utopia





Video footage shot by North Korean defectors is used to chronicle efforts by South Korean human rights activist Pastor Seungeun Kim to lead them to asylum in nearby  democratic nations. The videos also serve to document the harsh conditions under which NK citizens live, which the country's supreme leader, Kim Jong Un, has long striven to conceal. Pastor Kim's Caleb Mission has facilitated the rescue of more than 1,000 refugees since 2,000.









37. Checkin' It Twice













36. Out of Bounds





Though it fits squarely in the trashy thriller genre, Out of Bounds is well-acted, boasts better than average production values and is headlined by a lead actress (Karen Obsilom) who's impossible to turn away from.









35. Stan Lee













34. When Love Springs













33. To Kill A Tiger





A father faces down ingrained tradition, apathetic law enforcement personnel, community ostracization, hostile neighbors (male and female) and death threats in his rural Indian village during his quest to obtain justice for his daughter, who was gangraped at 13-years-old.









32. Kandahar




Gerard Butler's having a banner year, with two good movies invading cineplexes -- one of which proved to be a surprise hit in Hollywood's January dumping ground. This particular Butler experience takes on the politics of modern-day Afghanistan and illuminates what a clusterf*ck the entire region has become in that regard. The CIA, MI6, Pakistan Intelligence, the Taliban, ISISK and a British media outlet all converge in a complex thrill ride that improves with subsequent viewings.





31. Are You There G*d? It's Me, Margaret.







30. A Winning Team




When pro soccer star Emily is suspended for unsportsmanlike conduct, she spends her mandated downtime with her brother and niece and learns some life -- and love -- lessons along the way. 









29. Shooting Stars





The high school years of NBA-legend LeBron James and his closest friends/teammates are highlighted in this biopic that features as much as heart as it does athletic excitement.









28. What Goes Around








27. I Got A Monster




The citywide scandal involving Baltimore's corrupt Gun Trace Task Force is chronicled.





26. The Burial











25. Under the Boardwalk





The Jersey Shore gets its first animated movie in this crab-out-of-water tale about two crustaceans discover that they have more in common than they know.









24. The Holdovers





Although this coming-of-age tale is set a decade and a half prior to The Breakfast Club, it features the diversity that that film pretends to have. When four students at a posh boarding school are stuck on campus during Christmas break -- with each other and the hapless staff members left to supervise them -- hidden sides emerge.  









23. Chevalier





Chevalier explores the legend of  18th century Parisian celebrity Joseph Bologne. Thanks to racism, the accomplished Chevalier de Saint Georges' exploits were lost to history for a time. But this peak into the life of the most prominent Black Frenchman of his time goes a long way towards making things right. If only it hadn't veered perilously close to shoving its own subject aside in favor of morphing into a propaganda film for white feminism.





22. Oppenheimer



Christopher Nolan chronicles theoretical physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer's efforts to beat the Nazis and Russia in an arms race to develop the weapons of mass destruction that would eventually be dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima at the end of WWII.






21. After Everything


The After series began with a solid movie told from the perspective of the female half of a love story and this concluding film beautifully closes things out with the male point-of-view.





20. A Christmas Frequency




Kenzie, producer of the "Breakfast with Brooke" radio show, has to scramble to boost ratings if the program is to survive. Her (best friend's) brilliant idea? Arranging for the brokenhearted star to have blind dates live on air until she finds love. Unfortunately, Brooke and her estranged husband are still very much in love. Worse, Kenzie's fallen for her boss' match, Ben.

A Christmas Frequency is unique in that it features three separate couples in the same story without using the vignette format. Frequency's biggest flaw is the fact that, following the standard romcom formula wherein the woman rejects the guy that she loves before their inevitable reunion, Kenzie never apologizes to him. Meanwhile, Brooke makes up for her transgressions with her husband, Todd, and Kenzie!    





19. Killers of the Flower Moon




A racist conspiracy involving the theft of a Native American community's land rights and proceeds from the sale of oil is chronicled in this adaptation of a true life event that occurred a century ago.





18. Reggie



Legendary baseball player and MLB Hall of Famer Reggie "Mr. October" Jackson discusses his life and career -- and how both were impacted by racism.





17. Stand



Former NBA great Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf recounts his journey from high school phenom to NCAA superstar to being blackballed from professional basketball in the U.S. and all of his political activism and struggles with Tourette's Syndrome in between. Before Kaepernick knelt, Abdul-Rauf sat.






16. The Covenant





The year's other drama involving a military man fleeing from insurgents with help from a native translator proved to be a welcome departure from director Guy Ritchie's signature style. Though the film's blatant American jingoism is odd considering the whole thing was overseen by a Brit, the story's still worth two hours of your time.   









15. White Men Can't Jump














14. The Little Mermaid





While The Little Mermaid was a domestic success, it was DOA overseas. Due to the complaints of online trolls regarding the main character being portrayed by an African-American actress as opposed to a white cartoon, there's widespread speculation that racism is to blame for the movie's collapse. If so, the racists really missed out, since the film's only real problem is the ever-irritating presence of Awkwafina. 









13. The Perfect Find














12. Blood & Gold





In this Inglorious Basterds-esque thrill ride (but more entertaining than that revenge tale), a German army deserter teams up with a young woman to take on Nazis on the hunt for gold stolen from Jews in her town. 









11. Arranged Love





In this good version of Crazy Rich Asians, runaway bride and orphaned Meera reluctantly flies back to her native India -- with fake husband in tow -- in order to trick her aunt and uncle into believing that she's satisfied the terms for receiving her inheritance. Will she get the funds needed to save her startup? Will a real wedding be in her near-future? Where does her actual boyfriend fit into all of this? Homecoming shenanigans ensue in Crazy Rich South Asians (if you will).









10. Christmas Casanova





With her show on the chopping block, podcast host Elise convinces advertising exec Daniyal to let her chronicle -- and coach -- his attempt to reveal his secret admiration for his lifelong friend, Tanya, before her new boyfriend's imminent arrival so that they can celebrate their first Christmas together. But while Elise leads the buddies (and Tonya's parents) on a festive tour of New York City, the holiday magic begins to work on both Tanya and herself.









9. Sisu





In this WWII tale, a unit of Nazis find out the hard way that there are some people who you f*ck with and some who you don't. 








8. Murder Mystery 2



Amateur New York detectives Nick and Audrey are back to solve another murder in an exotic locale in Netflix's best mystery-comedy to date.





7. Plane



After commercial pilot Brodie Torrance is ordered to fly through a storm by an airline executive in order to save fuel, his plane is struck by lightning and loses power, forcing him to land on an unknown island in the Philippines. When a local terrorist group abducts most of the surviving passengers and crew, Torrance must draw on his RAF training in order to assist former GCP French Foreign Legion member Louis Gaspare and a Special Forces rescue team sent to liberate them.





6. The Other Zoey




The Other Zoey is essentially the Scream of romantic-comedies. It paradoxically both embraces and flouts the conventions of its genre. It also features characters who voice said genre's rules. 





5. The Creator



In the year 2070, U.S. Army Sergeant Joshua Taylor discovers that the "weapon of mass destruction" created by AI-friendly New Asia in their war with the United States has the body and outlook of a preteen girl. Defying orders, he declines to destroy "Alpha O" in the hopes that it'll lead him to his estranged wife, Maya, the daughter of legendary AI-developer, "Nirmata". His journey instead leads him to revelations that he never could've imagined to be true.









4. Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match





Never mind the plumbers and web-slingers, the best animated movie of the year stars an aspiring Hollywood action icon. Johnny Cage's origin story is 2023's must-see "cartoon" adventure.

In Johnny's previous animated movies, Scorpion's Revenge and Battle of the Realms, he's a comic relief character and Sonja Blade's verbal and physical punching bag. But here, although the film is an action comedy, he's treated with respect by the story and is the primary and intentional hero. 

Cage is vain, shallow and obsessed with fame -- but -- far from a clown, he's also presented as hardworking, brave and tenacious -- even when he knows that the odds are against him. Perfectly cast, Joel McHale brings the kickboxer to life by bringing a liberal amount of Jeff Winger's persona along from Community. The lineup is rounded out by voice actor extraordinaire Phil Lamarr, Gilbert Gottfried, Kelly Hu and Jennifer Grey as herself. Forget American PsychoThe Wolf of Wall Street and The Wedding SingerCage Match is one of the best 80s period pieces to date -- it's certainly the funniest --with homages galore to the decade's big feature films, from Lethal Weapon and The Karate Kid to Die Hard and Big Trouble in Little China to Dragnet and The Golden Child. Even the music, from the score's synths and saxophone to the pop songs, is 80s-appropriate -- not to mention the Christmas setting. It's also the greatest Mortal Kombat movie, which is admittedly a much lower bar to clear.









3. The Flash






Barry "the Flash" Allen (two of them, acyually) is upstaged by the Snyderverse Kryptonians and Kara Zor-El (the first good live-action Supergirl) in his first solo feature film that, in spite of some goofiness, multiple plot-holes and shoddy visuals, still manages to rise above several other DC (not to mention, MCU) movie offerings. Nevertheless, The Flash's box-office failure is immensely satisfying if for no other reason than the fact that actor Ray Fisher was unceremoniously written out of it.

The film's also refreshingly self-aware of how grating the title character's personality has been/is. Unfortunately, the filmmakers seemed to lack a similar level of insight regarding the Burton-era Batman's age as it relates to his inexplicable physical prowess.









2. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3





Aside from Groot -- who's adult again and boring now -- and Rocket -- whose critical condition robs him of his comedy chops -- the Guardians' trilogy-closer improves on its predecessor -- and the series' abominable holiday special -- in nearly every other way. Of particular note is the fact that the team finally faces a compelling villain, the High Evolutionary, after battling two wet blankets (Ronan the Accuser and Ego the Living Planet) in as many films.





1. Extraction 2




Tyler Rake's second cinematic mission proves to be just as exhilarating as his first -- and well worth the three-year wait for its streaming debut. What's concerning is the tell-tale ending -- complete with headliner Chris Hemsworth's MCU castmate, Idris Elba -- that suggests that this particular series is cueing up to expand into its own universe. And the movie's biggest flaw is the incongruous insertion of humor in one of their scenes together, which is neither wanted or needed in this saga about mercenaries and the brutal lives that they lead. 

Sequels often invite comparisons to the film(s) that preceded them. But the Extraction movies are so intrinsically linked and similar (in narrative, tone and personnel) that ranking them seems inappropriate. Extraction 1 and 2 are simply two halves of a single story. 

Monday, February 26, 2024

"The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" Book Review

 

by John Zenoni


The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian’ by Sherman Alexie is a great, entertaining read. Based on true life experiences of the author, the main character of the novel is Junior, a young Native American high school boy who decides he has to leave the ‘Rez’ in order for him to be able to make something of his life. This is a life changing decision for him, as it will cost him his best friend as well as the respect of the other Native American’s on his reservation. While the novel has many funny moments, the author also does a good job of highlighting and reflecting on many serious topics as well, such as alcoholism, abuse and poverty. There are some heavy themes but they are presented in a unique and interesting way.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

"One Love" Review

 

by John Zenoni


What a great biographical film about the late, great reggae superstar, Bob Marley, entitled ‘Bob Marley: One Love.’ Directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green, whose 2021 film, ‘King Richard’, was nominated for Best Picture, Green does an amazing job of bringing to screen both the personal life of Bob Marley as well as his wonderful musical legacy in a well-balanced story. The performances by all in the film are so good but the acclaim has to go, of course, to Kingsley Ben-Adir for his portrayal of Bob Marley, but also to Lashana Lynch, who almost steals the show as his wife, Rita Marley. They both light up each scene they are in, whether together, alone, or with anyone else.

For those who are not fans of the genre, rest assured this is a not a musical, but a film which just happens to focus on a music legend and incorporates his songs, whose music is still important to this day. For those who want to hear what musical talent Marley passed on to his kids, check out Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers. Ziggy and his siblings released an amazing album, ‘Conscious Party’, in 1988, which had a couple of hits at the time and deserves recognition for its overall message as well. A great film about an amazing man with a huge message for the world!

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

"The Shadow Box" Book Review

 

by John Zenoni


Talk about a nail-biter of a read! ‘The Shadow Box’, by Luanne Rice, is a suspense-thriller that I could not read fast enough. The story is about Claire Chance, an artist who makes shadow boxes using items she collects on the beach. She's married to Griffin Chance, an important and prominent prosecutor in the area who plans to run for governor. However, the truth behind him is that he's also an abusive husband and not a kind person at all. Claire and Griffin had a mutual friend when they were younger, who Griffin just happened to be involved with, who was found dead on the local beach, with the death being ruled a suicide. However, as Claire begins digging more and more into what really happened, she begins to find out things she did and did not suspect. This is a gripping read that you won’t want to put down.

Monday, February 19, 2024

"Argylle" Review

 

by John Zenoni


I'm late on my review - if you want to call it that - of this so-called movie because it's just horrible. I just cannot believe that actors the caliber of Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson, Bryan Cranston and Catherine O’Hara would agree to be in such a mess as ‘Argylle.’ I can’t believe Matthew Vaughn, who has made some pretty good films, directed this thing. It's disappointing too, as the trailer was pretty entertaining (aside from the ‘flying’ cat) so I thought the entire movie would be good. Wrong! The storyline is just dumb and it has to have one of the most stupid action sequences in the history of cinema. Unbelievable! Anyway, if you decide to see it don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Sunday, February 18, 2024

"They Called Him Mostly Harmless" Review

 

by John Zenoni


Have you ever thought about just walking away from everything and everyone in your life and not being found? Well, such is the premise of the well-made documentary, ‘They Called Him Mostly Harmless.’ This is an absolutely intriguing story and it's hard to believe that one, it captured the attention of so many online groups and two, it took so long to figure out who the center of the story was. I don’t want to divulge too much as the ending turned out to be different from what I was expecting but it's a fascinating insight into someone, trail name ‘Mostly Harmless’, who decided to leave everything behind but was eventually discovered anyway.

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

"The Zone of Interest" Review

 

by John Zenoni



Went and saw ‘The Zone of Interest’ this evening and am just stunned by this film. I normally don't do this but I was reading some reviews by other filmgoers to get their take on it and this one by ‘On The Town with Tanya’ is something I have to share as she captures it perfectly!
“Jonathan Glazer is brilliant in telling us the story we all need to know the answer to: "What was happening right outside of the camp?" Who lived on the other side of the wall, outside the walls?? What were they doing? Didn't they hear the screams, smell the fires? Why didn't they do something? Because.....humans get ok with death IF its NOT them or their family....It takes courage to stand for something....and easy to fall for anything that is safe... He draws us in with brilliant views. Cinematography, nature and the sounds (Bravo Johnnie Burn and your team!!) the sound of children we are all familiar with, at first joyous....and then he does the unexpected, tells the story auditory....every sound mattered to bring the audience to that moment of horror, WITHOUT visually re-traumatizing us like most past stories do. Bravo to making the audience FEEL thru sound.....what it is like as a fly on the wall when humans become monsters and don't even have a clue they are. The picking thru jewelry, furs, while others suffered....showing the "vulture" in complacent people...it has happened before....#insanity, which makes us think...humans never learn and they are greedy in the worst of times thinking only of their needs and not that children - people - were being killed. They had NO thought of it, but I love the way Jonathan left it on us, the viewer, to see and hear....how this atrocity happened, because PEOPLE, in feeding THEIR needs and wants...became MONSTERS that contributed, and that is why it went on so long and so many died. This film should be a part of history as when you leave eerie sounds ring in your ears forever and hopefully IF an atrocity EVER attempts to happen we will all take a stand, not take the job, not take advantage of OUR privileged lives, and NOT allow one man to teach millions around the world...to watch as an atrocity happens in front of them. Bravo Jonathan and all the actors, crew, well done!


Saturday, January 13, 2024

"The Boys in the Boat" Review

 

by John Zenoni


George Clooney has more than proven himself as an actor, spokesperson, producer and director, having been at the helm of many films including ‘Good Night, and Good Luck’, ‘Leatherheads’, and ‘The Ides of March.’ His latest film, ‘The Boys in the Boat’, is by no means a classic or masterpiece but it is a pleasant, feel-good movie that is an enjoyable watch.

The film is based on the true story of the University of Washington junior row team that competes for - and gets - a spot in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. At the center of the story is young Joe Rantz, abandoned by his father during the Depression and having to raise himself, who learns of a chance to earn money by taking a spot as one of the men on the row team. We watch to see what he goes through and learns about himself and others as he grows during the tryout and competition. It's a solid performance by Callum Turner as Rantz and the rest of the cast does a good job as well. Interesting story about the Olympics that I was not familiar with and enjoyed seeing played out on the big screen.

Thursday, January 11, 2024

The 33 Biggest Flops of 2023

 



The COVID-19 pandemic has left a significant change on moviegoing. And while audiences still flock to theaters en masse, they're much more discerning in regard to what they're willing to pay for at the multiplex. Gone, it seems, are the days when studios could lob any old bullsh*t into the marketplace and reap millions of dollars in profit. The following films are merely the latest examples of Hollywood offerings that movie buffs either elected to watch in the comfort of their own respective homes or simply bypassed altogether.





33. Asteroid City



Loss: $3 million









32. Master Gardener



Loss: $4 million

It seems that moviegoers aren't particularly psyched to watch a Black woman fall for a neo-Nazi. Who knew?









31. Love Again



Loss: $3 million










30. Priscilla



Loss: $4 million

Lisa Marie Presley expressed her objections to this propagandized look at her parents' marriage; apparently, moviegoers shared her view on the film's narrative.









29. Book Club: The Next Chapter



Loss: $6 million










28. Bottoms





Loss: $6 million








27. Theater Camp



Loss: $6 million





26. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom



Loss: $9 million





25. 80 for Brady


Loss: $12 million

The year's first failure is this football comedy that arrived in theaters just in time for its titular quarterback to retire ahead of a Superbowl that would not include him. Even discounted ticket prices couldn't get audiences across the line into auditoriums showing this flick.





24. Retribution



Loss: $13 million

Liam Neeson's schtick continues to wear thin with moviegoers.





23. The Machine



Loss: $15 million

Star Bert Kreischer's actual life story is the stuff of legend. But the bad comedy throughout this loose adaptation of some of the events that made him famous insured that ticket sales were low.





22. Are You There G*d? It's Me, Margaret.



Loss: $21 million

Apparently 53 years was too long for fans of Judy Blume's book to wait for this feature-film adaptation.





21. About My Father



Loss: $21 million





20. No Hard Feelings


Loss: $28 million

Apparently, sexual grooming as a source of comedy isn't exactly a box-office draw. Not even an A-list actress headlining this misguided raunchy throwback could propel it to break-even status.









19. Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1



Loss: $29 million

If not for a $71 million COVID-19 insurance payout, Ethan Hunt's latest assignment would've been even deeper in the red. This doesn't bode well for Part Two.









18
. Strays



Loss: $31 million





17. Magic Mike's Last Dance


Loss: $37 million

A $45 million production budget combined with $20 million spent on promotion added up to far more than moviegoers were willing to spend on tickets for this trilogy-capper that was initially slated for a straight-to-streaming release.





16. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre



Loss: $32 million

Apparently, Guy Ritchie fans had little to no interest in seeing him make a comeback -- not even with Jason Statham.









15. Dumb Money



Loss: $40 million









14. Blue Beetle




Loss: $43 million









13. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken




Loss: $80 million

This Luca rip-off has the dubious distinction of giving Dreamworks Animation its worst-ever opening, making it clear that it would be a massive failure from the outset. Taking the marketing and production budgets into account (https://www.slashfilm.com/1359782/ruby-gillman-teenage-kraken-dreamworks-animation-biggest-flop-ever/) had to be a dismal prospect for the studio's bean-counters.









12. Renfield




Loss: $54 million

Nicholas Hoult's second horror/comedy had a much higher budget than his first feature in the genre hybrid (Warm Bodies), it failed to match the zombie adaptation's quality -- which shows in this collaboration with the other Nicolas' box office receipts.









11. Hypnotic



Loss: $62 million









10. Expendables 4



Loss: $75 million









9. Wish



Loss: $80 million









8. Rise of the Beasts




Loss: $86 million

Sadly, the only good live-action Transformers movie is the very first one. It's a shame too, because this seventh entry showed real promise too, only falling apart around the time that Pete Davidson shows up. 









7. The Haunted Mansion



Loss: $100 million

Disney's decision to release this ghost story remake in late July instead of October probably wasn't the wisest. At any rate, it's managed to surpass its predecessor to become an even bigger box office failure. 









6. The Little Mermaid



Loss: $110 million

While The Little Mermaid was a domestic success, it was DOA overseas. Due to the complaints of online trolls regarding the main character being portrayed by an African-American actress as opposed to a white cartoon, there's widespread speculation that racism is to blame for the movie's collapse. If so, the racists really missed out, since the film's only real problem is the ever-irritating presence of Awkwafina. 









5. Fast X



Loss: $129 million

While the previous entry in the Furious saga, F9, was a step in the wrong direction, Fast X has plumbed new depths -- to audience's mass dismay.









4. Shazam 2



Loss: $166 million

The writing was on the wall well before this debacle premiered. A $125 million production tag combined with marketing costs totaling $105 million was much too large a sum to overcome the global apathy that accompanies a sequel to a movie that also lost millions at the box office (and also apparently required $105 million to promote). It doesn't help that the film isn't actually any good. 









3. The Flash



Loss: $200 million

The Flash's first solo feature film is surprisingly superior to several comic book movies that managed to eke out a profit. However, DC's decision to publicize the fact that the studio's cinematic universe is set to be overhauled soon likely discouraged moviegoers from caring. Nevertheless, The Flash's box-office failure is immensely satisfying if for no other reason than the fact that actor Ray Fisher was unceremoniously written out of it.









2. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny



Loss: $219 (Deadline)

Unsurprisingly, not many moviegoers were psyched to watch a frail octogenarian armed with little more than a bullwhip punch his way through a secret cell of Nazis -- especially given that the previous film in the series was nearly-universally panned 15 years earlier.









1. The Marvels



Loss: $223 million

Though this MCU sequel is superior to its billion-dollar predecessor in quality, an unpopular lead character and marketing that highlighted its goofy tone led moviegoers to stay far away. The result? The lowest-grossing entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe series to date.