Thursday, January 11, 2024

The 34 Biggest Flops of 2023

 



The COVID-19 pandemic has left a significant change on moviegoing. And while audiences still flock to theaters en masse, they're much more discerning in regard to what they're willing to pay for at the multiplex. Gone, it seems, are the days when studios could lob any old bullsh*t into the marketplace and reap millions of dollars in profit. The following films are merely the latest examples of Hollywood offerings that movie buffs either elected to watch in the comfort of their own respective homes or simply bypassed altogether.





34. Asteroid City



Loss: $3 million









33. Master Gardener



Loss: $4 million

It seems that moviegoers aren't particularly psyched to watch a Black woman fall for a neo-Nazi. Who knew?









32. Love Again



Loss: $3 million










31. Priscilla



Loss: $4 million

Lisa Marie Presley expressed her objections to this propagandized look at her parents' marriage; apparently, moviegoers shared her view on the film's narrative.









30. Book Club: The Next Chapter



Loss: $6 million










29. Bottoms





Loss: $6 million








28. Theater Camp



Loss: $6 million





27. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom



Loss: $9 million





26. Next Goal Wins



Loss: $10 million

Following the reception to Love & Thunder, Taika Waititi's schtick seems to be wearing thin with audiences.





25. 80 for Brady


Loss: $12 million

The year's first failure is this football comedy that arrived in theaters just in time for its titular quarterback to retire ahead of a Superbowl that would not include him. Even discounted ticket prices couldn't get audiences across the line into auditoriums showing this flick.





24. Retribution



Loss: $13 million

Liam Neeson's schtick continues to wear thin with moviegoers.





23. The Machine



Loss: $15 million

Star Bert Kreischer's actual life story is the stuff of legend. But the bad comedy throughout this loose adaptation of some of the events that made him famous insured that ticket sales were low.





22. Are You There G*d? It's Me, Margaret.



Loss: $21 million

Apparently 53 years was too long for fans of Judy Blume's book to wait for this feature-film adaptation.





21. About My Father



Loss: $21 million





20. No Hard Feelings


Loss: $28 million

Apparently, sexual grooming as a source of comedy isn't exactly a box-office draw. Not even an A-list actress headlining this misguided raunchy throwback could propel it to break-even status.









19. Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1



Loss: $29 million

If not for a $71 million COVID-19 insurance payout, Ethan Hunt's latest assignment would've been even deeper in the red. This doesn't bode well for Part Two.









18
. Strays



Loss: $31 million





17. Magic Mike's Last Dance


Loss: $37 million

A $45 million production budget combined with $20 million spent on promotion added up to far more than moviegoers were willing to spend on tickets for this trilogy-capper that was initially slated for a straight-to-streaming release.





16. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre



Loss: $32 million

Apparently, Guy Ritchie fans had little to no interest in seeing him make a comeback -- not even with Jason Statham.









15. Dumb Money



Loss: $40 million









14. Blue Beetle




Loss: $43 million









13. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken




Loss: $80 million

This Luca rip-off has the dubious distinction of giving Dreamworks Animation its worst-ever opening, making it clear that it would be a massive failure from the outset. Taking the marketing and production budgets into account (https://www.slashfilm.com/1359782/ruby-gillman-teenage-kraken-dreamworks-animation-biggest-flop-ever/) had to be a dismal prospect for the studio's bean-counters.









12. Renfield




Loss: $54 million

Nicholas Hoult's second horror/comedy had a much higher budget than his first feature in the genre hybrid (Warm Bodies), it failed to match the zombie adaptation's quality -- which shows in this collaboration with the other Nicolas' box office receipts.









11. Hypnotic



Loss: $62 million









10. Expendables 4



Loss: $75 million









9. Wish



Loss: $131 million









8. Rise of the Beasts




Loss: $86 million

Sadly, the only good live-action Transformers movie is the very first one. It's a shame too, because this seventh entry showed real promise too, only falling apart around the time that Pete Davidson shows up. 









7. The Haunted Mansion



Loss: $117 million

Disney's decision to release this ghost story remake in late July instead of October probably wasn't the wisest. At any rate, it's managed to surpass its predecessor to become an even bigger box office failure. 









6. The Little Mermaid



Loss: $110 million

While The Little Mermaid was a domestic success, it was DOA overseas. Due to the complaints of online trolls regarding the main character being portrayed by an African-American actress as opposed to a white cartoon, there's widespread speculation that racism is to blame for the movie's collapse. If so, the racists really missed out, since the film's only real problem is the ever-irritating presence of Awkwafina. 









5. Fast X



Loss: $129 million

While the previous entry in the Furious saga, F9, was a step in the wrong direction, Fast X has plumbed new depths -- to audience's mass dismay.









4. Shazam 2



Loss: $166 million

The writing was on the wall well before this debacle premiered. A $125 million production tag combined with marketing costs totaling $105 million was much too large a sum to overcome the global apathy that accompanies a sequel to a movie that also lost millions at the box office (and also apparently required $105 million to promote). It doesn't help that the film isn't actually any good. 









3. The Flash



Loss: $155 million

The Flash's first solo feature film is surprisingly superior to several comic book movies that managed to eke out a profit. However, DC's decision to publicize the fact that the studio's cinematic universe is set to be overhauled soon likely discouraged moviegoers from caring. Nevertheless, The Flash's box-office failure is immensely satisfying if for no other reason than the fact that actor Ray Fisher was unceremoniously written out of it.









2. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny



Loss: $143 - $219 million (Deadline)

Unsurprisingly, not many moviegoers were psyched to watch a frail octogenarian armed with little more than a bullwhip punch his way through a secret cell of Nazis -- especially given that the previous film in the series was nearly-universally panned 15 years earlier.









1. The Marvels



Loss: $237 million (per Deadline)

Though this MCU sequel is superior to its billion-dollar predecessor in quality, an unpopular lead character and marketing that highlighted its goofy tone led moviegoers to stay far away. The result? The lowest-grossing entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe series to date.

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