"The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue" Book Review

 

by John Zenoni

When I started reading ‘The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue’ I was intrigued by it at first but then it almost became a chore to read it -- so I stopped. It's not that the story was not interesting but I got lost on the going back-and-forth across the centuries of the main character, Addie.

As a young lady living with her family back in old, early eighteenth-century France, Addie is being promised in marriage to someone she refuses to be with. While outside one evening, she encounters a mysterious man, Luc, who promises her immortality, but in return, everyone she ever meets is bound to forget her. Needless to say, she has bargained her soul, which is what Luc wants and expects Addie to tire of her new ‘life’ and give in to him. As the years go on, Addie ends up meeting someone in New York in later modern times and she is stunned to learn that he doesn't forget her the next day after meeting again. Thus, she does fall in love but finds out an interesting twist in the relationship, as well as in the one she has with Luc.

Needless to say, I'm glad I went back and finished reading this, as it really is a very good story with a great ending.

"The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane" Book Review

 

by John Zenoni

I have to say my latest read is one that I struggled with from the start, then got into it and really started enjoying it, then felt totally disappointed with the ending. So needless to say, this is one I'm recommending with mixed emotions. ‘The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane’, by Lisa See, is about a young girl of Chinese origin who, part of the Akha ethnic minority, struggles to stay true to her family’s rituals and heritage. It's a coming-of-age story in which she falls for a local boy but not one chosen by her family. Once she makes certain choices, Li-yan has to face the outcome and we get to go on this journey with her. It has some really good moments but does drag at times, in my opinion. As for the ending, my letdown is that it ended abruptly and not as I would have expected by any means.

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" Book Review

 

by John Zenoni

I know I am way, way behind on this one but The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by British writer Mark Haddon, is a great - and unique - 2003 mystery novel. I say unique because of the writing style and that the story is told from a first-person perspective by a young man who appears - although it's not explicitly stated - to have autism. Christopher is a 15-year-old mathematical genius and has decided to set off on a mission to discover who killed the neighbor's dog. On his journey, we gain insight into his likes, dislikes, how he likes things in a particular order, what makes it a good day vs a bad day, etc. He's definitely giving full insight into himself, as well as characteristics of his mother and father and others around him. You feel for him due to his challenges and what he experiences, but you can't help but cheer him on and see him succeed. It's a great read!

"Something Bad Wrong: A Thriller" Book Review

 

by John Zenoni

‘Something Bad Wrong: A Thriller’, by Eryk Pruitt, is a nail-biting, mystery thriller that pulls you in and keeps you in its grip until the end. It's a little long but definitely worth the read.

The story is told in a dual timeline - that of a police officer 50 years ago and today, by that same officer’s granddaughter, who's a true-crime podcaster investigating the murders of a young couple that was never solved and haunted her grandfather until his death. There is also the mystery surrounding her grandfather and why her mother refuses to talk about him and things that happened in the past.

This one ends on a perfect note and I look forward to reading more about the main character, Jess Keeler, and her ongoing investigations.

"Master Gardener" Review

 

by John Zenoni

‘Master Gardener’ is a film that I truly do want to like but I have so many mixed feelings about it. The main actors - Sigourney Weaver, who is a hoot in her role as Norma Haverhill, Quintessa Swindell as Maya, and Joel Edgerton as Narvel Roth - all do pretty good jobs in their roles, although Edgerton is, in my opinion, somewhat over-the-top, at times, in his role. His performance in moments almost feels forced and not realistic.

Edgerton’s character, Narvel, is a gardener who works for Norma and has been asked to take in Norma’s great-niece as an apprentice and work with her to keep her ‘straight.’ Apparently, Maya, whose mother passed recently, has been struggling with the loss and gotten herself involved with a bad crowd. As Narvel begins to work with Maya, who just happens to be biracial (which plays a key component in events that happen), we hear in the voiceover as he writes in his journal, that he's been involved in some bad things in his past. That will eventually come into light and it does catch you off guard.

The pros of this film are that there are some beautiful shots of the garden that Narvel and staff work on and some still shots of other scenes that are disturbing - I don’t want to say of what, for that would give away a key part of the film. Also, the chemistry between Weaver and Edgerton’s characters works pretty well, although, to me, it takes a long time to get to the evolution of that ‘working’ relationship. I'm not sure that I completely bought Edgerton’s and Swindell’s characters' chemistry though, in the end. Initially, as teacher and apprentice, it started off great and realistic but toward the end, as things began to change, it just seemed to happen too fast and was questionable.

The film seems self-righteous and ‘preachy’ at times and I think that's what bothers me. It has good intentions but could have been a better film in the end.

"The Secrets of Dumbledore" is Trash

 

For those not already in the know, The Secrets of Dumbledore is the latest -- and, most likely, last -- entry in the prequel series of the Harry Potter saga, Fantastic Beasts. For those of you who don't give a sh*t, what can I tell you? And oh yeah, there will be spoilers. 

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Magiczoologist Newt Scamander continues his adventures, this time helping a Chillin', a magical equine monster that can see the future, give birth to twins. But evil wizard, Gellert Grindewald's, followers kill the mother and deernap one of the babies. As soon as they deliver it to Grindewald, he slits its throat. In the previous movies, Grindewald was portrayed by Johnny Depp but he was replace by Mads Mikklesen after being #MeToo'd. Anyway, Newt, who kept the other calf, and his big brother, Theseus, meet up with Hogwarts teacher and future stereotypical bearded wizard, Albus Dumbledore himself. Albus explains that he made a blood pact with Grindleballs years ago that prevents the two of them from fighting each other. Next, we catch up with Credence Barebone, portrayed by future cautionary tale, Ezra Miller, who was revealed to be Humblescore's long lost brother, Aurelius. He has a heart-to-heart with Queenie Goldstein, who switched sides in the last movie to join Grindleballs. Continuing the catching-up phase of the story, we check in with American baker and muggle -- or non-magic user -- Jacob, who's recruited by another magic teacher, Professor Lally Hicks. The new team, which also includes Afro-Franco wizard Yusuf Kama and Newt's assistant, Bunty Broadacre, convenes on a train to Berlin and determines to stop Grindy from taking over the world or some bullsh*t.

But since he's taken the dead baby Chillin's powers of foresight, their mission is virtually impossible. Upon arrival, they attend a boring ass magic conference -- trial? -- where Grindy's acquitted of all charges stemming from the last movie due to insufficient evidence. Theseus is arrested; Dumbledore shows up and orders the team to prevent the assassination of Brazilian wizard Vicencia Santos. Meanwhile, Yusuf heads over to Grindleballs' HQ in order to spy on his operation. While all of this bullsh*t's going on, Fumblecore and Credence engage in a magic duel on a busy street, which ends when the older wizard reveals that Grindleballs lied to Credence about his true identity. He tells him that though he is a member of the Mumblemore family, he's not Albus' brother. He's actually his nephew. Ok, now it's a full-blown soap opera -- Aight. For those of you who still care, Newt's nearly killed by a giant scorpion monster during Theseus' prison break. Meanwhile, though Jacob and Lally foil the assassination, Jake ends up being accused of attempting to assassinate Grindleballs himself. And during the dinner where all of this takes place, Jacob catches sight of his ex -- Queenie. But she doesn't look his way. Anyway, after they escape, Jake, Lally, Rumblesores and the Scamander boys reassemble at Hogwarts, where it's revealed that Grindleballs has been named as a candidate for Supreme Mugwump in the kingdom of Bhutan. The election is decided by a Chillin', given that they're considered to be the purest creatures in the world and can accurately judge the hearts of others.

Anyway, once the X-men get to Bhutan, Theseus and Lally take out a squad of goons who corner them on the street searching for the spare Chillin'. Thinking ahead, the team has brought decoy briefcases, hoping to throw off anyone who realizes that they actually are transporting Bambi in a business tote. Instead of helping, Jacob and Queenie meet up in an alley to make googly eyes at each other. Grindleballs resurrects his Chillin', which bows to him, and he's immediately declared the winner of this ridiculous election and wastes no time in firing off magic wand shots at Jacob and declaring war on muggles. But, the Flash reveals to the gathered crowd that the Chillin' is a zombie that Grindleballs killed and subsequently bewitched. Newt then reveals the remaining Chillin, who bows to both Tumbleweed and Vicencia. Grindleballs then tries to murder Barry Allen but the Stumbledrawers brothers save him. For some reason, the blood pact is rendered invalid, allowing Grindleballs and Crumblesmores to have a magic wand duel to a standstill. So, their off-brand Magneto/Professor X dynamic survives to see another sequel. Grindleballs vanishes, Newt stuffs the Chillin' back in his briefcase and everybody goes home. We end with Jacob and Queenie's wedding in his bakery, at which the latter's sister, Tina, who also happens to be Newt's ex, makes a dramatic entrance. But before the ceremony kicks off, Jungleroar makes one last, pretentious, soft-spoken speech before walking off in the snow. 

None of the Harry Potter prequels are particularly compelling -- or good -- but The Secrets of Dumbledore is the absolute bottom of the franchise's barrel -- so far. It's entirely possible that the next installment (if, by some miracle, there is one) might be so garbage that it makes this dishwater look like a certified classic by comparison. Don't waste your time or money on this trash. If you wanna see wizard action, go check out The Fellowship of the Ring.

The Walking Dead: "The Rotten Core" Review

 

Television's longest-running zombie series, "The Walking Dead", has finally came to a close. And I figured I'd give you my verdict on episode 14 of the last season, "The Rotten Core". As the middle chapter of a 3-parter, we pick up where the previous episode, "Warlords", left off.

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

 

One-eyed minister Gabriel and one-armed boring guy Aaron went on a first contact expedition for the Commonwealth to a newly discovered community presided over by none other than Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn). But ex-CIA assassin Toby Carlson bodied Kyle and started tossing people off the roof of the community's apartment building in order to get somebody to spill the beans on the location of a cache of guns hijacked from a Commonwealth convoy. By now, Maggie, Elijah and Alpha Jr. (Lydia) have snuck into the building after coming across a shot-up Commonwealth citizen who...escaped? -- and was given a map by surprise community member Negan. Meanwhile, back at the CW, Darryl and Rosita are coerced by the governor's prick of a son, Sebastian, into sneaking into a compound that lies behind a swarm of walkers -- WITHOUT guns -- in order to retrieve some cash. Once inside, they meet April, the last panicked survivor of a 12-member group who embarked on the same mission. Negan, who we learn is a newlywed and has a baby on the way, rescues Maggie's son Herschel, who stowed away in his mom's truck, from a CW soldier. Negan's missus, Annie, has a heart-to-heart with Maggie and reveals that her new husband told her all about his past.

While this is going on, Negan has a man-to-kid talk with Herschel, who pulls out on the former Saviors-leader when he realizes that he's the guy who bludgeoned his dad, Glen, with a barbwire wrapped bat. Elsewhere, Darryl turns on the power back at the compound, allowing them access to the compound's safe. Unfortunately, the alarm's powered on as well and draws walkers. Just when things are looking grim, Commonwealth general, Mercer, and Darryl's bff, Carol, arrive. But they're down to 10 rounds of ammo. So the members of the quintet cover themselves in blood and guts and try walking through the crowd -- until a walker gets caught on April's armor, resulting in a feeding frenzy and the end of any hopes of her becoming a new cast member. Back at the Carter, the CWs chase Gabe and Aaron to the roof, falling right into a trap, wherein Toby's backup is sliced up by Elijah. Aaron shoots Toby off the roof and since the impact of the fall doesn't kill him, the reanimated corpses of the people he previously threw off the roof do. When Darryl and company get back, Mercer bodies the waiting soldiers for not helping the group to escape. But they hand the cash over to Sebastian in order to avoid starting a war with his mom. Later, Carol tells Lance Hornsby, the governor's do-boy, what happened and discovers that his weaselly ass was in on it all along; Negan promises Herschel a chance to settle his debt at a future date. And after all this, we finally learn that Darryl's ex, Lia, was the one who jacked the convoy and zombified the soldiers guarding it.

This episode's shenanigans weren't as interesting as Eugene and Stephanie's growing dynamic and like most of the season, could be summed up as "more of the same". But it was nice to see Negan back in the mix so soon. But I can't lie, I don't really care whether I find out how things turn out in the sequel series or not. But I've come this far so....bring it on, I guess.

Ryan Reynolds' Plays Himself Yet Again -- Surrounded By Marvel Alums -- in "The Adam Project"

 

Deadpool may not be returning to theaters anytime soon but Ryan Reynolds shows no signs of slowing down. He followed up 2021's Red Notice, Free Guy and The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard with a streaming-exclusive feature. So sit back, relax, pour yourself some aviation gin and get ready to roll your eyes as we dive headlong into...The Adam Project. 

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Our tale begins in the year 2050, with Ryan Reynolds flying an aircraft high above the Earth -- for f*%ksake, I'm getting Green Lantern vibes. Anyway, our middle-aged pilot immediately gets into a firefight with a mysterious pilot in a similar craft before disappearing into a wormhole. Flashing back to 2022, 12-year-old Adam Reed is beat up by bullies, Ray and Chuck, at school, and his single mom, Ellie, comes to take him home. He's suspended for "fighting" -- again. Ellie complains that she's forced to take too much time off from work and Adam in turn complains that she doesn't understand him like his dad, Lewis, would. After mom heads out on a date with some guy name Derek, Adam and his dog are alerted by a noise in the garage. When they investigate, they discover the pilot from the future and -- wouldn't you know -- the dog takes an immediate liking to him. Now I'm getting Iron Man 3 vibes. Not as bad as Green Lantern but still sh*t. After a chat, Adam realizes that the pilot is his future self and we viewers realize that he has Deadpool's exact personality. Older Adam had intended to travel to 2018 in his -- time jet. Because he was shot and the -- time jet -- is coded to his DNA, for some reason, he can't gain entry to the cockpit. But fortunately, young Adam can.

Adam 12 mentions multiverses -- of course -- and namechecks Back to the Future's Biff -- of course. When mom gets home, Adam 12's rude to her date while Adampool gazes wistfully at her from the garage. Framed pictures around the house reveal that dad, who was killed in a car accident a year and a half earlier, is fellow Marvel alum, Mark Ruffalo. The next morning, the Adams bicker -- of course -- and Adampool chastises Adam 12 for not being nicer to Ellie. During a shopping trip, Adam 12's accosted by Ray and Chuck and Adampool coaches him on how to fight back. But....instead of following the advice, he runs away after getting hit in the face. Adampool then threatens the bullies, and back at the garage, Adam12 snoops through Van Wilder's sh*t and finds a picture of his wife, Laura, on his phone. Meanwhile, Adampool eavesdrops on Elektra (Jennifer Garner) at a bar and tries to console her about her relationship with Adam12 and the fact that they're both still grieving. She recognizes the jacket he's wearing -- it's Lewis'. Another jet appears, filled with black-clad troops, a pilot, Cristos, and girl-boss Mya Sorian. At the house, Adampool reveals that Tony Stark -- I mean Lewis -- invented time travel and that Mya was his partner until she stole the -- time tech -- officially named the Adam Project -- and murdered Laura. The death-troopers break into the house and after Adampool briefly fights them with his electro-staff, he's captured until he's rescued by Laura. The three of them haul ass in a pick-up, pursued by the jet.

And in keeping with the Back to the Future BS, some of the death-troopers use hoverboards -- I swear I'm not making this sh*t up. They get away to a lake cabin and make a Terminator 2 reference while running down some convoluted gibberish about time travel. Laura encourages Adampool to go back in time to 2018 in order to prevent time travel from being invented -- a plan which he opposes because it'll also prevent their relationship from forming. The Adams leave when the alarm's triggered and Colombiana (Zoey Saldana) blows up Cristos' SUV. She has a secret weapons cache and turns into Sarah Connor -- naturally. She kills a death-trooper during the firefight, the Adams head back in time in order to find Lewis for guidance as Mya shoots the sh*t out of Avatar. A dogfight between Hal Jordan and Cristo ensues in a canyon and Mya reminds Adampool that he only has one jump left because his ion blah blah blah is damaged. The battle heads above the clouds and Adampool escapes into a wormhole during a game of chicken. They later go to Professor Hulk's class in 2018 and Adam 12 promises Free Guy that he won't warn him about his impending car crash. Lewis immediately recognizes Adampool when he interrupts his lecture and when Adam 12 appears, he realizes that time travel's involved. We then get the lamest Hulk/Deadpool fight imaginable and even afterwards, they continue to argue about the ramifications of time travel. Elsewhere, Mya meets her younger self -- who's uncomfortable with the ethics of what they're doing -- again. And what they've been doing is cheating the stock market and greasing the wheels for the project to be completed.

After Bruce Banner leaves for home, Adam12 psychoanalyzes AP about his feelings toward his father. The next morning, Lewis decides to stay home with the family instead of going to work. He has a heart-to-heart with 13 Going on 30 before she reassures him that, "You've got time." The Adams go to initiate their plan, which involves blowing up an accelerator, before deathtroopers show up. But Adam 12, who's wearing a vest like Marty McFly's intervenes with AP's drone when he gets himself surrounded. When things go south, Dr. Banner saves him by crashing into their SUV with Ellie's. They argue -- again, but Banner has a better plan...stealing the hard drive containing the essential algorithm. They sneak into the lab while Adam 12's caught outside. When the Myas confront them, old Mya threatens to shoot Adam 12 if Adampool doesn't hand the drive over. Adam 12 causes old Mya to shoot a window, compromising the electro-magnetic shield. A brawl breaks out in the chaos, Cristos is killed, and a core meltdown begins, triggering a lockdown of the lab. Middle-aged Mya won't shoot, so old Mya grabs the gun in order to do it herself. Buuuut, the armor-piercing round contains a steel core, which the magnetism redirects toward middle-aged Mya, killing her and erasing AARP Mya from existence. The Reeds escape and when they get home, Bruce confesses that he realized that he'd die early as soon as he met the Hitman's Bodyguard. But he refuses to risk the timestream by preventing his death. He tells the Adams that he loves them, which breaks through the Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard's walls. The Fantastic 3 then play catch in the backyard. 

And when Smart Hulk bends down to pick up a loose ball, the Adams have vanished because they returned to their times by the time he turns back around. In 2022, Adam 12 hugs Alias. And in the future, Adampool meets Gamora in a science class. She's a guest-lecturer who accidentally came to the wrong campus. So he volunteers to show her where she should be and says, "I've got time." F*%ksake. 

Lately, requels that bank heavily on nostalgia have been all the rage in Hollywood. But whatta you do when you can't get your hands on some decades-old IP? Apparently, the next best thing is to rip off several movies from the same genre (including Marvel) and cast it to the brim with popular actors - especially those best-known for their Marvel roles. The irony is that this is exactly the type of goofy bullsh*it that would be mocked in a Deadpool film. The filmmakers even included Zeppelin's "Time" and Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" for f*%ksakes. I really don't wanna sh*t on this derivative, pun-filled remix of much, much better movies and the father/son dynamic is sorta moving. But don't waste your -- time -- on Back to the Judgement Endgame. Just watch The Terminator and call it a day.

Let's Take One Last Look at "The Dark World" and Then Forget That it Ever Happened...Forever (10 Year Anniversary)

 

With one huge exception, the MCU is particularly prone to sophomore slumps with regard to its sub-franchises. While Captain America and Doctor Strange boast sequels that are exponentially better than their debuts, Guardians of the Galaxy, Spider-Man and even Iron Man hit foul balls during their respective second at-bats. But like his fellow Avenger, Ant-Man, Thor struck all the way out. With that said, let's take one last look at Thor: The Dark World and then forget that it ever happened -- forever. 

For the second time in her career, Natalie Portman goes on a romantic outing on an alien planet with a tall dude with magic powers and a melee weapon who's believed to be the chosen one for his people. Sidekick Darcy gets more pointless scenes and Thor joins forces with estranged brother, Loki, who shows off some illusion tricks, which is mostly a lame excuse to feature a sort of Captain America cameo (This would be his first, but unfortunately not his last, trash cameo in another hero's film series). And it's without doubt the worst part of an already terrible movie. Why bring Steve Rogers into this sh*t show? 

The villains -- the Dark Elves -- are even more bland and unmemorable than the first movie's Frost Giants. And the Viking Age iconography, laser guns and starfighters make for a truly gobbage combination. The tone is all over the place, careening recklessly from completely unfunny attempts at humor to wholly uncompelling and woefully over-the-top melodrama. Rumor has it that Marvel was going for a Game of Thrones vibe with this trash (director Alan Taylor did helm 7 episodes of GoT) but Thor 2 doesn't even live up to the widely-hated final season. Don't get me started on the weirdly sappy yet simultaneously unconvincing "love" story. 

Darcy's unethical romance with her assistant, Ian, is more compelling than Thor and Jane's. And Anthony Hopkins has always been horrible at choosing roles in the action genre -- and his Odin in the Thor movies, especially this one, certainly upholds that piss-poor tradition. Aside from all of its other f----ups, The Dark World doubles down on the MCU's decision to give its Norse people off-brand Downton Abbey accents. You know, when you screw up royally, the best course of action is to stop what the f--- you're doing. They recast Warmonger, Fandrill and Bruce Banner AND even let Chris Hemsworth stop bleaching his eyebrows. But I guess they're sticklers for continuity when it comes to cultural intonation. Well at least Chris' costume is less cheap-looking than in its previous appearances. If you wanna see a dark fantasy about Vikings, skip this unwatchable train-wreck and check out The Northman instead. 

"The Batman" Early Review

 

Partly inspired by The Long Halloween and taking place during Bruce Wayne's second year into his career as a nocturnal vigilante, The Batman explores the Prince of Gotham learning by trial-and-error as he and Lt. Jim Gordon investigate a series of high-profile murders in the city and try to stop the killer from adding to the body count. Like the mood and tone, the story shares themes and story elements with both The Dark Knight (escalation), The Dark Knight Rises (the intended destruction of Gotham; the plight of the city's orphans; teaming up with Catwoman) and Joker (a villain serving as inspiration to other criminals; Thomas Wayne's secrets). It's great to see Bruce's self-pity as an aggrieved orphan challenged. As I said in my 'Fresh Out of the Theater Reaction' video, The Batman is the villains' movie above all. Not only does the film showcase the best versions of the Riddler and Penguin that we've ever had, but the mobsters, and Carmine Falcone in particular, are even upgraded from their Dark Knight trilogy depictions. Seriously, if it hadn't already been common knowledge who the actor portraying Penguin was, I might never have guessed his identity. No longer a mutant nor a walking pun, this Penguin is closer to Robert De Niro's Al Capone in The Untouchables than he is to a member of the Rogue's Gallery. The Riddler? Gone are the days when he wore a skintight green catsuit and mugged for the camera like a moron. This guy's a bona fide serial killer whose smarter than "the world's greatest detective". Someone even had the presence of mind to NOT name him Edward Nigma! 

John Turturro's Falcone actually comes off as a legitimate mobster as opposed to whatever the hell the criminally miscast Tom Wilkinson was doing in Batman Begins. And Jeffrey Wright gives even Gary Oldman a run for his money as a hall-of-fame Jim Gordon. Let's all just forget JK Simmons' brief stint in the trench coat. And Andy Serkis is second to only Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth. The car never fails to disappoint either (I'm not calling it the batmobile - I hate that name). While the scourge of Gotham's new ride isn't as sick as the Tumbler, it outshines most of Bruce's past four-wheelers. Director Matt Reeves followed in the footsteps of both Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder in stripping most of the cheesiness associated with the character away. In fact, the only instances of goofiness that remain belong to Selina, the bat himself and a completely unnecessary tease at the end of the film. When the hell will filmmakers learn that we don't need to be beat over the head with an entire cat motif. Catwoman is a cat burglar and a woman. We get it. She doesn't need to wear cat ears, drink milk, make references to having 9 lives or own a herd of house cats. Robert Pattinson is NOT the best Bruce Wayne -- that title still belongs to Christian Bale, nor is he the best Batman -- that's Ben Affleck for my money. But he's by no means the worst fit for the role. But it is weird for Alfred to look more muscular than his boss. How does he fight, you ask? He doesn't top the warehouse brawl in BvS but he does have better hands than anyone who's strapped on the cowl outside of Affleck. 

Make no mistake, The Batman truly is a mystery thriller. And even for a movie belonging to that genre, there are revelations galore. Just for starters, no film has ever delved so deeply into either Martha Wayne or Selina Kyle's backgrounds. And where does it rank in relation to the overall Batman filmography? I'd say The Batman is the caped crusader's 5th best cinematic adventure. There you have it - my spoiler-free rundown what so far is the best movie of the year. And it may turn out to be the biggest film of 2022 when it's all said and done. We'll just have to wait and see. 

"The Stranger" Review

 

by Daniel White

Ideally, the perfect film to view in honor of Orson Welles' birthday a few days ago would have been Touch of Evil. After all, May 6 is also the day that Marlene Dietrich, who co-starred in that memorable flick, gave up the ghost, presumably assuming to Valhalla. Alas and alack, Welles' classic film noir was nowhere to be found, so I settled on ANOTHER noir the former boy genius helmed, 1946's The Stranger. It may not be quite as twitchy as the brilliant Touch, but it's a damn good film, a solid crowd-pleaser. Directed by Orson, who also had a hand in the screenplay, it's an engrossing yarn.

He plays Charles Rankin/Franz Kindler, a teacher at a boys school in idyllic Harper, Connecticut (heralding from the Nutmeg State myself, the set designer, Paul Ferguson, did a bang-up job. Hard to believe there was no on location filming). An escaped Nazi cooling his heels until the next fuhrer shows up, he's solidified his reputation by marrying Loretta Young, daughter of a supreme court justice.

Young, as Mary, has the most challenging role. Going from adoring to disbelieving to homicidal is no easy feat, but Miss Young handles it with aplomb. The always reliable Edgar G. Robinson turns up as Wilson, an avenging angel from the war department. Hot on the trail of Kindler, he arrives in Harper, tracking a former colleague of the unrepentant mass-murderer, hoping he'll lead Wilson to him.

Though Welles disavowed the finished product, The Stranger is a crackerjack movie, well told, beautifully lit (Russell Metty), and superbly acted. Kept on a tight leash, the talented, if exasperating, filmmaker, finished it, not only early, but under budget. It's the only film of his to turn a profit on its initial release. It wasn't what he wanted (Agnes Moorehead in the Edward G Robinson role. What!), but I appreciate it for what it is: a stellar piece of film work that keeps the audience engaged from start to finish.

The Stranger was produced by International Pictures, their last undertaking before joining up with Universal. RKO did the distribution. With Victor Trivas nabbing a nomination for best original screenplay, Richard Long as Loretta's kid brother, and Konstantin Shayne as a hunted and haunted ex Nazi, The Stranger is available on YouTube.

"Sisu" Review

 

by John Zenoni

Wow! Talk about a one-man revenge thriller. ‘SISU’ is something like a runaway train, in that once it starts, you can’t stop it. I haven't seen anything like this in a long time and I did enjoy it -- with the exception of a couple of things. One, we don’t really get into the backstory of the main character, Aatami Korpi, played so well by Jorma Tommila. Other than knowing he's a miner, he says very few, if any, words throughout the entire film. Second, while the action itself is great, some of the situations are really over-the-top and ludicrous, especially, involving an airplane, but I won’t say anything else -- to avoid spoilers.

‘SISU’ is a Finnish action movie (with mostly English dialogue) set in 1944 about a gold miner who encounters a squad of Nazi soldiers who try to steal his gold which, needless to say, was the wrong thing for them to do. It's a great action film and is clever but it does have extreme violence and gore, thus, it is definitely not for everyone. However, I must say, I wouldn't mind seeing the return of this ‘harmless’ old miner to see who else would like to mess with him.

"The Garment Jungle" Review

 

by Daniel White

"Good morning, Roxton fashions, one moment please."

If you can accept Arrow Collar Man Kerwin Mathews as corned beef on rye guy, Lee J. Cobb's, son, then you can savor The Garment Jungle (1957). A screwy, frenetic crime drama, the flick is an amphetamine-addled romp that tackles some weighty issues. My advice: ignore the issues and bask in the "overness" of it all. Overacted, overwrought and especially over the top, The Garment Jungle is best enjoyed when not taken too seriously. Swimming with some ferocious method acting sharks, Mathews initially appears reticent and ill at ease.

As Alan Mitchell, he's a Korean war vet, returning home, eager to work with dad, Walter (Cobb), in the garment business. Determined to keep the union out of his shop, Walter is blind to the roughhouse tactics that associate Artie Ravidge (rhymes with savage) employs. Even when friend, co-owner and union sympathizer Fred Kenner plunges 12 floors to his death in an elevator accident...

Initially begun by Robert Aldrich, Columbia head Harry Cohn replaced him with Vincent Sherman several weeks into filming. As tumultuous as anything unfolding onscreen, the backstage squabbles have all the makings of an exciting movie themselves.

Unrestrained Lee J. Cobb is madly entertaining. Along with Richard Boone (Ravidge), Robert Loggia as a union organizer, and practically everyone else (except the wooden Mathews), these guys are "ACTING". Forget that corned beef I mentioned previously, a whole lotta ham is on display here!

Gia Scala has a nice bit in a bar where she's breastfeeding her baby. Aldrich/Sherman handle the scene beautifully. It's a shocking moment, not just for the content, but how well directed it is. A poignant pause amidst all the mashugana (apologies to my Jewish friends if I've misused this wonderful Yiddish word). Hell, eventually Kerwin "stiff as a board" Mathews loosens up, let's his hair down and engages in some impressive chewing of the scenery as well. Atta boy, Kerwin!

With moody, noirish, on location NYC cinematography (Joseph F. Biroc), The Garment Jungle is currently available on YouTube.

"Psycho" Review

 

by Daniel White

Here's a bit of Oscar trivia guaranteed to result in some serious head scratching. Composer Bernard Hermann wasn't even NOMINATED for his brilliant angst-driven Psycho score. Nope, another example of the dubiousness of the Academy Awards. Directed by you-know-who, Psycho (1960) remains an exciting, near-perfect example of expert craftsmanship. From its seedy hotel tryst opening to its daffy, yet chilling denouement, it never stumbles. Catapulting American cinema into the modern era (Is this the film that sounded the death knell for Hollywood's Golden Age?), Alfred Hitchcock, as the storied (sordid?) ringleader, has assembled a shockingly talented group of co-conspirators.

Besides the gifted Herrmann and his nerve-wracking music, John L. Russell's B&W cinematography is appropriately bleak. Toss in Saul Bass's frantic opening credits and the stage is set for the unsettling events that transpire. This flick is the ultimate film noir! Joseph Stefano's screenplay (based on the novel by Robert Bloch) is adult, literate and revealing (but not TOO revealing!). Thankfully, his tight yet descriptive script has been executed by an accomplished troupe of players, led by the amazing Anthony Perkins.

Almost as tortured in his personal life as the demented Norman Bates, Perkins is superb. Forever typecast as a sensitive, unstable man-boy because of the film, he is unbelievably good.

But the bulk of the applause must ultimately go to Alfred Hitchcock, who scrupulously supervised every step in the making of this flick (natch). Never failing to comprehend that a movie's most important function is to entertain the audience, Hitch entertains and engages us wildly.

With Janet Leigh as the ill-starred Marion Crane, John Gavin as the bf, Vera Miles as her concerned sister, and Martin Balsam as a too nosy for his own good private investigator, Psycho is currently streaming on Netflix. Oh, and a special shout-out to Ed Gein, whose commitment to self-expression made this film possible!

"To Catch A Killer" Review

 

by John Zenoni

There are so many police/investigator/crime dramas released to theaters, streaming sites and regular television today that it's hard to find one (or more) that you could say is different or unique. Not having even seen a trailer for the film ‘To Catch a Killer’, starring Shailene Woodley and Ben Mendelsohn, I went in with no idea what to expect but must say this one was pretty good. It's definitely not a ‘Serpico’ or ‘Dog Day Afternoon’ but it still captures your attention based on the action and performances by Woodley and Mendelsohn.

Woodley plays Eleanor Falco, a police officer on the force in Baltimore, MD, who's recruited by FBI agent Geoffrey Lamarck, played by Mendelsohn, to help profile and track the work of a disturbed individual. The person they're after is an active shooter who has expert shooting skills and kills many innocent and random victims in some disturbing scenes (be warned). Also prominent in his role is Jovan Adepo, who plays FBI agent Mackenzie, who assists Falco in trying to track down this killer. He also gives a great performance.

While the storyline is not the strong point of the film, the action and performances are and make this one worth watching. It also has an ending I didn't expect and is also what makes me recommend it.

"Identikit" Review

 

by Daniel White

Identikit (aka The Driver's Seat), a 1974 salute to mumbo jumbo Italian movie-making, opens with Elizabeth Taylor wandering through a fashion boutique where all the lady mannequins are naked. Not only are they naked, their heads are wrapped in foil. Uh oh, fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a baffling night...

Looking like the nice lady from behind the perfume counter at your local department store, The Star is Lise, the heroine of this befuddling tale. Jetting off on holiday in her dress of many colors, Lise is on edge, uncertain, disturbed. All the things I would feel by the time this flaky film ends with her violent death by stabbing. (Oh, did I spoil it for you? Good, now you don't have to punish yourself by watching).

Any flick that contains those two icons of pop culture, Elizabeth Taylor and Andy Warhol, can't be a TOTAL waste of time, can it? Actually, yes. Identikit, The Driver's Seat, or as I Iike to call it, One More Lousy Elizabeth Taylor Movie, is just that, a complete waste of time. Well, almost...

There is an auto mechanic (Guido Mannari) in a white jumpsuit who attempts to rape The Star in his car ("The front seat falls back...make yourself comfortable"). Supposedly The Star had a brief affair with him while making this puzzling piece of malarkey. I certainly hope something good came out of it...

Mona Washbourne shows up as a chatty tourist. She and The Star wander through a near deserted shopping mall. Again, kinda fun, if inconsequential. Oh, and Ian Bannen as a lascivious, health-conscious business man shares a few daffy moments with The Star. Meager crumbs, but ANYTHING to make the 100+ minutes endurable...

Based on a Muriel Spark novella, and directed by Giuseppe Patroni Griffi, what's its name is currently available on Tubi.

"Polite Society" Review

 

by John Zenoni

‘Polite Society’ is an absolute blast from the get-go. It's such a different and refreshing spin on the action/martial arts genre in that it's comprised primarily of women doing the fighting and it's a blast. Not to mention the three female leads are so good and bring such fun and comedy to their roles.

The entire cast is brilliant but, especially, Priya Kansara, who stars as Ria Khan, a British-Pakistani teenager who's training to be a martial arts expert. Ria’s best friend is her sister, Lena, played by Ritu Arya, who used to paint but dropped out of school and moved back in with her parents. Lena is engaged to be married to Salim, much to Ria’s concern. After trying her best to prove to her family that Salim is not a good person - especially his mother, Raheela, played by the devilish Nimra Bucha - Ria decides she has to take matters into her own hands and recruits her two friends to help kidnap her sister from her own wedding.

This is one of the best films I have seen this year, and actually, in a while. Kudos to director Nida Manzoor for making such a fun, quirky, action filled film.

"X, Y & Zee" Review

 

by Daniel White

Perhaps one day some brave film scholar will spearhead a study into Elizabeth Taylor's post "Virginia Woolf" movie career. Then again, perhaps not. Certain things are better left unscrutinized - their contents too disturbing for the human psyche to digest. Ranked number seven on American Film Institute's list of the greatest actresses of all time, Miss Taylor has her legion of devoted, worshipful fans. I am not one of them. A beautiful woman of modest talent, I don't find her screen presence all that compelling. Bright enough to pick up the rudiments of mugging effectively for the camera, La Taylor managed to produce a handful of competent performances and even bagged a couple of Oscars. But I think her greatest accomplishment was away from a soundstage. As a tireless crusader for AIDS research (and compassion), Elizabeth Taylor delivered her profoundest role. Actress? Meh. Humanitarian? Magnificent.

Unfortunately, she's the best thing in X Y & Zee, a 1972 British drama about a London couple and their discordant marriage. Liz and Michael Caine are the headache-inducing duo. Annoying and strident being their more admirable qualities, five minutes into this flick, I wanted to shut them both up. Taylor is slightly less insufferable, only because Caine comes off as a bully. She looks fabulous too, in swinging seventies outfits. The soundtrack is boss to boot, with Liz blasting rock music while running around her London pad looking sensational.

But fun frocks and tuneful jams aren't enough to save this doleful mess. Even the talented Susannah York fails to resuscitate it. As Caine's sensible mistress, she soon turns as tiresome as Liz 'n Mick. In the end, when lascivious Liz goes all lesbian on poor Susannah, I'd had enough. X Y & Zee went from the tedious to the ludicrous. That's when I went for the remote. Distributed by Columbia Pictures, with Margaret Leighton as a London hostess who rivals our Liz in fashion fabulousness, X Y & Zee is currently available on Tubi.