by Daniel White
Identikit (aka The Driver's Seat), a 1974 salute to mumbo jumbo Italian movie-making, opens with Elizabeth Taylor wandering through a fashion boutique where all the lady mannequins are naked. Not only are they naked, their heads are wrapped in foil. Uh oh, fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a baffling night...
Looking like the nice lady from behind the perfume counter at your local department store, The Star is Lise, the heroine of this befuddling tale. Jetting off on holiday in her dress of many colors, Lise is on edge, uncertain, disturbed. All the things I would feel by the time this flaky film ends with her violent death by stabbing. (Oh, did I spoil it for you? Good, now you don't have to punish yourself by watching).
Any flick that contains those two icons of pop culture, Elizabeth Taylor and Andy Warhol, can't be a TOTAL waste of time, can it? Actually, yes. Identikit, The Driver's Seat, or as I Iike to call it, One More Lousy Elizabeth Taylor Movie, is just that, a complete waste of time. Well, almost...
There is an auto mechanic (Guido Mannari) in a white jumpsuit who attempts to rape The Star in his car ("The front seat falls back...make yourself comfortable"). Supposedly The Star had a brief affair with him while making this puzzling piece of malarkey. I certainly hope something good came out of it...
Mona Washbourne shows up as a chatty tourist. She and The Star wander through a near deserted shopping mall. Again, kinda fun, if inconsequential. Oh, and Ian Bannen as a lascivious, health-conscious business man shares a few daffy moments with The Star. Meager crumbs, but ANYTHING to make the 100+ minutes endurable...
Based on a Muriel Spark novella, and directed by Giuseppe Patroni Griffi, what's its name is currently available on Tubi.
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