Tuesday, November 2, 2021

"Solo" Deserved to Flop


 


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Both Lucasfilm and Disney would love to explain away Solo's box office failure with excuses about an ill-advised release date, an abundance of competition and skimpy marketing. But the truth is, like The Last JediSolo just wasn't a very good Star Wars movie.

Unlike the prequel trilogy and The Last JediSolo's not offensively bad -- but it is a waste of time. It's not divisive or anger-inducing it's just a big pile of nothing. But there are two damned good scenes -- either of which would have made for damned good movies if they'd been stretched into two hours. The first gives a brief glimpse into Han's military service. After being busted down to a grunt following charges of insubordination, everybody's favorite Corellian is stuck in the muddy trenches and fighting for survival during the Battle of Mimban. It's basically the (very brief) Star Wars version of Saving Private Ryan (Why couldn't we have seen that??). The other great scene is more or less what I'd hoped for when this flick was announced: spaceships -- in space. Han, Lando, Chewie, Han's shady ex, Lando's droid and Han's smuggling mentor run for their lives after heading straight into an Imperial blockade comprised of a Star Destroyer and a squadron of TIE-fighters. It's pretty dope -- right up until the giant space octopus shows up. Smh.

It's ironic that the most expensive Star Wars movie to date comes off as...off-brand. Solo reminds me of the 2011 Conan the Barbarian remake that had virtually no connection (different director, writers, studio and star) to the original two films. Despite Solo being written (partially) by Star Wars veteran scribe Lawrence Kasdan under the auspices of Lucasfilm, it comes across as being a knock-off -- almost a mockbuster. Maybe because Kasdan handed the script-writing duties off to his son halfway through. Nepotism strikes again. Smh again. 

One of Solo's biggest problems is the fact that throughout the film Solo himself is pretty naive and optimistic, which is par for the course for the beginning of an arc that shows a character evolving, maturing or hardening. But it makes no sense whatsoever when Han begins the movie as an orphan and veteran thief working for a brutal crime ring. How is he still green and wide-eyed at this point?? Besides, Han Solo's popularity lies in his jaded personality. Two hours of everybody's favorite cynic (without having to cut to Luke's adventure every so often) would have done a much better job of putting asses in the seats. Ironically, Solo would've been better served by an absence of...well, Solo. Had star Alden Ehrenreich been portraying a completely new character, the movie would've been far more enjoyable. Even centering the story on veteran smuggler Tobias Beckett would've been an improvement. After all, no one complained about Enfys Nest, Dryden Vos or Qi'ra -- characters we'd never heard of before (But I will say that both CGI characters -- Rio Durant and Lady Proxima --sucked). As it stands, although Solo is about Han's younger years, it gives off more of a "James Bond Jr." vibe. 

And -- SPOILER ALERT --  just when it seemed as though Solo would be the first Star Wars movie not to showcase the use of the Force, Darth Maul shows up for no good reason. While the Sith apprentice's cameo was surprising it made no sense to most fans -- given that he'd been CUT IN HALF during his last cinematic appearance. Maul's continued existence was given a ridiculous explanation in the animated series The Clone Wars. His connection to the crime syndicate Crimson Dawn, mentioned in Solo, is made clear in the now-cancelled (and completely unwatchable) animated series Star Wars Rebels. Though corporate tie-ins are certainly nothing new, it's pretty unreasonable to expect moviegoers to pay for a premium cable network -- or a streaming service -- so that they can watch a weekly cartoon just so they're not completely lost when they shell out $10 or more for the next theatrical release. 

It's a sincere piece of filmmaking, as opposed to the unintentional parody that is The Last Jedi, but somehow Solo still doesn't seem...authentic. It's not Spaceballs -- it's more like Atlantic Rim (the low-budget rip-off of 2013's Pacific Rim).





Originally Posted 7/26/18

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