With Christmas right around the corner, it seemed like the perfect time to chop it up about everybody's favorite cop-action series: Die Hard. We've ranked the best four of the five feature films in order of quality, from worst to best -- and we left out the one bad apple in the bunch.
4. Die Hard 2
Some say this movie shouldn't even exist. "There's no way in hell that the same dude and his wife could be caught in the middle of a terrorist situation at Christmas -- again!" But you won't care about any of that while you're watching the movie. You'll just enjoy seeing John McClane doing his thing -- again.
It's said that lightning never strikes the same place twice and Die Hard 2
doesn't violate that theory. While John McClane does find himself having to
rescue his wife from the fallout from a terrorist attack, at Christmas,
AGAIN, the attack takes place in Washington, D.C. this time instead of LosAngeles.
The crazy thing is -- this movie is actually based on a book. I sh*t you not. It's called 58 Minutes, you non-believers. My favorite part is probably when McClane makes his way inside the cargo plane.
3. Live Free or Die Hard
Threaten his estranged wife and John McClane'll partly destroy a skyscraper or crash a plane. But you kidnap his daughter and he'll travel cross-country, leave your girlfriend at the bottom of an elevator shaft and shoot himself in the shoulder just to make sure she's safe. His wife's divorced him and his daughter, Lucy, has decided to use her mom's maiden name. But she's still his little girl (Lucy plays a major role and the only film in which she appeared previously is Die Hard).
Die Hard 4 makes numerous references to the one that started it all:
The lead terrorist -- and many of his henchmen -- is a hacker; an official mentions an FBI agent named Johnson to McClane -- which causes him to chuckle (the laugh undoubtedly stemmed from his memory of the two agents with that surname who figured into his experience at the Nakitomi building); a female relative of McClane -- his wife in Die Hard, his daughter in Live Free or Die Hard -- is estranged from him, uses the surname Gennero and is kidnapped by terrorists for use as a leverage against him; an FBI chopper is used; the terrorists' true objective is money, which is inaccessible until they manipulate the Bureau into unwittingly granting that access; and McClane reveals that he faced his fear of flying, which he discussed with a fellow airline passenger in Die Hard, by taking helicopter pilot lessons.
In the best fourth entry in a movie series ever (its only real competition is Terminator: Salvation), the seemingly-obsolete McClane pits his old-school cop skills against a team of amoral computer hackers.
2. Die Hard with a Vengeance
While Die Hard with a Vengeance is the final film in the series to feature
John McClane working with an African-American partner, it's also the only
one to directly address race.
Minutes after they meet -- and escape a group of angry Harlemites, incensed
by the racist sign Mcclane was forced to wear -- John tells African-American Harlem native Zeus to chill out. The response that he gets is, "Chill out? What the fuck?! Are you trying to relate to me? Talk like a white man!"
Zeus reveals that he helped McClane escape imminent death at the hands of a
group of Harlem kids because he realized that if a white cop were killed in
the predominantly African-American neighborhood, "A thousand cops with
itchy trigger-fingers" would be sent down here...
When McClane explains that he was temporarily famous due to an event in LA,
Zeus quips, "Lemme guess -- Rodney King?"
When McClane incredulously observes Zeus' ignorance when it comes to
firearms, the latter exclaims, "All brothers don't know how to use guns,
you racist motherfucker!"
Not only did Vengeance foreshadow the September 11th attacks, the film even
references the first attack on the World Trade Center in 1993. McClane and
Zeus are even framed with the Twin Towers behind them in one scene.
Though Vengeance is the first Die Hard film that doesn't take place at
Christmas -- it's actually set during the summer -- the holiday gets a
couple of references nonetheless: When McClane catches a kid shoplifting
junk food, the pint-sized thief explains, "Look around, man. All the cops
are into something. It's Christmas! You could steal City Hall!" Also, NYPD
explosives specialist Charlie Weiss sings a portion of "The Twelve Days of
Christmas" -- "and a partridge in a pear tree" -- while attempting to
diffuse a bomb.
1. Die Hard
Unlike most action movies, Die Hard is based on a novel -- Nothing Lasts Forever. "Terrorists", a sports-obsessed hacker, the LAPD, FBI agents, helicopters, corporate execs, military-grade explosives, a giant teddy bear, Stevie Wonder music, a street-smart limo driver, a Huey Lewis look-a-like, Carl Winslow and an off-duty New York cop all combine to make the best Christmas movie ever. It never gets old and you'll never get tired of seeing what happens when John McClane gets stuck on the roof of that skyscraper.
Anybody who believes Die Hard is just an action movie is missing out. Yeah, you get explosions and shootouts but you also get villains with brains and a hero who seems like a regular dude. He doesn't have superpowers, he's not on steroids and he's not completely fearless. The only reason he gets involved at all is the fact that his wife's life is on the line. And it all kicks off on Christmas Eve. Believe me, he knows more than anybody that his situation is damn near hopeless.
Premiering in the summer of 1988, Die Hard sure as sh*t brought Christmas to July -- July 12, to be exact. There are some grinches out there who question Die Hard's qualification as a Christmas movie. Well, consider this: Hero John McClane's only in town so that he can spend Christmas with his estranged wife -- whose first name is Holly; he writes "Ho, Ho, Ho" on the corpse of a terrorist -- a terrorist he killed himself; he secures a gun to his back using mistletoe-covered wrapping tape; he climbs through air ducts and elevator shafts (the closest thing Nakatomi Tower has to a chimney); Hans Gruber outdoes the Grinch by attempting to steal $640 million in bearer bonds on Christmas; limo-driver, Argyle, plays Run-DMC's "Christmas in Hollis" on the car radio; the song "Winter Wonderland" is played during the film; and Yuletide classic "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" begins to play as soon as the end-credits start to roll. Christmas is so pervasive throughout the film that I wonder if those who dispute Die Hard's holiday connection have actually seen it.
Die Hard is as much a Christmas movie as It's a Wonderful Life. Like Die Hard, It's a Wonderful Life is NOT about Jesus, Santa Claus, Rudolph or even Frosty. Unlike Die Hard, only a small part of the story is set during Christmas Eve.
Originally Posted 12/9/19
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