"The Oblong Box" Review

 

by Daniel White

Shocktober

The Oblong Box (1969) opens with an adrenaline shot. It's a violent, surreal and disturbing scene full of action and frenetic energy. While watching it, I kept thinking, "How the heck is this horror film going to maintain the momentum of these shocking four minutes?" Well, friends it does not. In fact, it would be impossible for any movie, macabre or otherwise, to continue at that level of high-pitched frenzy. Unfortunately, nothing that follows is terribly interesting.

Which is too bad, because this is the first film where those two titans of terror, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee, are paired together. Alas, except for a brief tete a tete near the end, they never get a chance to spark off one another. Akin to the opening, and the use of an Edgar Allen Poe story in name only, it's one more example of this movie suggesting something vital, then choosing to deliver something quite vapid instead.

Directed by Gordon Hessler, Price plays Julian Markham, one of two brothers who get themselves into all sorts of trouble while managing land they own in Africa. Safely ensconced back in the ancestral home in England, Julian has his hands full with brother Edward (Alister Williamson), who has been horribly disfigured by a native "witch doctor" on the dark continent (it's this facial mutilation that impressively opens the film). What transpires next is a series of contrivances, each less interesting than the last. Lee shows up (wearing an unflattering gray wig) as a disreputable doctor involved in body snatching. Edward finds himself in the not-so-good doctor's care, after which he proceeds to go on a ho-hum killing spree.

Appearing in a role that is both secondary and slight, I had my suspicions that Lee was getting the shaft, while the opening, extremely well-crafted credits were rolling. Granted a "Special Guest Star" title by the producers, little warning bells started ringing in my head. Often times there is nothing "special" about these star turns, and alas, that proves to be the case here. Price has been granted the meatier, more substantial part as the less-than-innocent Markham, but even he is not that compelling. Williamson is the spookiest of the three male leads, running around in a crimson hood, creating all sorts of havoc. But once again, the film fails us. When the creepy covering is finally removed and we are offered a glimpse of his mangled puss, what should be terrifying is nothing more troubling than a bad case of acne. Ho-hum, indeed.

Produced by American International Pictures' British division (who knew?), the movie co-stars Hilary Dwyer as Price's unsuspecting love interest. With Sally Geeson as the resident wench and Harry Baird as a magic man who wields a mean blowgun, The Oblong Box is available on YouTube.