I Absolutely Hated "Guardians of the Galaxy 2"

by John Zenoni

Ok, I will probably be the only person on the planet to say this but I absolutely HATED "Guardians"! I actually left an hour into the movie and got a credit for another flick later. 

A couple of things - 1) I never saw the first one so of course I had no clue about the characters, which was bad on my part. However, having seen the little bit that I did, I definitely have no plans to see the first one 2) the movie lines were so predictable and characters so 'simple' it was just stupid. Then again I am someone who really does not care for the Marvel flicks or anything remotely similar to Star Trek where there are characters that are green or blue or have 3 eyes or whatever. Absolutely predictable, commercial crap!

Originally Posted 5/12/17

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"Logan" is Better Than All of the Other X-Men Movies Combined




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Does Aquaman Have a Shot at Being Any Good?

Entourage, a partly-satirical television show about a fictional movie star (Vincent Chase) and his oldest friends, featured said movie star headlining a biopic about billionaire drug-trafficker Pablo Escobar. Before portraying Escobar, Chase took on the role of Aquaman. Both movies were chosen in order to illustrate Hollywood's tendency to scrape the bottom-of-the-barrel in terms of subject matter after having exhausted the most popular figures of a given genre. Since then, various real-life movies and television shows have been released about the deceased kingpin. One of which, Narcos, is among the best shows of 2015 and 2016. So maybe Mr. H2O has the goods as well. 

But then again, after Justice League's 2017 release the prospect of a quality Aquaman movie looked a whole lot less likely. To be fair, Aquaman himself wasn't the only disappointing aspect of JL. But after Justice League withered away, the official poster for Aquaman debuted to widespread ridicule, including negative comparisons to a Sharknado ad and tourist postcards for Seaworld.

To the relief of the studio, the movie's trailer was more readily welcomed by fans. However, the clip has prompted countless debate. Moviegoers have noticed that the brightly-colored cinematography on display in the teaser is a stark departure from the usual look of DC films and is more reminiscent of a Marvel movie. And there are more questions as well. Aquaman's love interest, Mera, bears a striking resemblance to Ariel aka the Little Mermaid. Is this a misguided homage? Will Mera be killed in a subliminal shot at the the studio's rival (rival Marvel's parent company, Disney, owns the film rights to The Little Mermaid)? Will there be comical easter eggs for eagle-eyed fans to spot -- like, perhaps a pineapple under the sea? Will Entourage star Adrian Grenier make a cameo?

Fans have also noticed the apparent plot and thematic similarities between Aquaman and Black Panther. Does that mean that Marvel-style humor will be on display as well? Will Aquaman prove to be yet another desperate but ultimately failed attempt to replicate Marvel's stunning accomplishments -- a la Justice League and Green Lantern? 

I suppose we'll find out in December. Aquaman hits U.S. theaters just five days before Christmas.





Originally Posted 9/10/18

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"The Lost City of Z" Review

by John Zenoni

 

"The Lost City of Z" is an awesome epic! It is one that most movie buffs should appreciate but because there is not a lot of action or special effects, it will unfortunately most likely be lost amongst all the standard summertime 'popcorn' flicks that will be coming out.

The film, which is based on a true story, is that of British explorer Percy Fawcett (played by Charlie Hunnam), who journeys into the Amazon at the dawn of the 20th century and discovers evidence of a previously unknown, advanced civilization that may have once inhabited the region. Despite being ridiculed by the scientific establishment who regard indigenous populations as “savages,” the determined Fawcett — supported by his devoted wife (played by Sienna Miller), son (played by Tom Holland) and aide-de-camp (played by Robert Pattinson) — returns time and again to his beloved jungle in an attempt to prove his case, culminating in his mysterious disappearance in 1925. 

The film is directed by James Gray who does an excellent job. I have never seen any of his other work (some of which are "The Immigrant", "Two Lovers", "We Own the Night") but am going to check out his other films and look forward to what he does in the future. 

The film itself I admit does have some slow points but there is nothing in the film that is not needed. The cinematography is amazing and the interaction with the natives in the Amazons is superb. But most impressive is the acting! Charlie Hunnam does an excellent job and he is definitely on a roll with this being his second film in the last couple of months (he was also great in "King Arthur"). He was fantastic and should be recognized for his performance come awards season (at least I hope he is). 

Robert Pattinson! This is someone I have never really cared for and did not think he could act but he totally surprised me with his role in this film. I have to say he did a great job and was totally believable as the assistant to Charlie Hunnam's character. This is an excellent movie and one that makes you appreciate filmmaking as it truly is a piece of art! A rating...





Originally Posted 5/1/17

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"Half Brothers" Early Review

 

Juggling vastly different tones isn't always an easy thing to do in a movie. But Half Brothers nails it. Simultaneously a road trip comedy and a drama about the plight of Mexican immigrants, Half is the story of brothers from different mothers who don't find out about each other until their father is on his deathbed. While we watch the two siblings try their hardest to put up with each other on a ridiculous scavenger hunt, we also get to see their dad's journey from his native Mexico through a soul-testing ordeal in the States. Think: The Godfather II with comedy.

Older, ambitious brother, Renato, viewed his father, Flavio, as his best friend until the latter abandoned him for a new life across the border. Entitled and bearded slacker/misfit, Asher, who spent his entire existence with Flavio, was blissfully unaware of his father's past. But after a decidedly negative first impression, their pops' death forces the pair to spend a few days driving across the country together with a pet. There are run-ins with rednecks, mishaps at the border and Renato, who has to get home to his woman for their impending wedding, is insecure about his fathering skills (he has a soon-to-be stepson back home). If any of this reminds you of Due Date, you're not alone. 

However, Flavio's trek decades ago was anything but comical. Despite his engineering know-how he could only get a job as a laborer; he was beaten up and robbed; and ultimately, thrown into a detention camp. Like Flavio, there's much more to Half Brothers than meets the eye and the wildly disparate tones make for a perfect dramedy blend. Check out Half Brothers in theaters today.

Originally Posted 12/4/20

#halfbrothers

#duedate

#CinemaFiends

#FullyCinematic

"Fat City" Review

 

by Daniel White

John Huston's Fat City (1972) was a comeback of sorts for the legendary director. After a string of films that failed critically, commercially, or both, he hit the bulls eye with this one. It's easy to see why it was received so enthusiastically, it's a great flick.

Starring the painfully believable Stacy Keach as down for the count boxer, Billy Tully, it's a heartfelt tribute to the losers of the world. But it would be a disservice to these characters to feel sorry for them.

It opens and closes with Kris Kristofferson's melancholic dirge, "Help Me Make It Through The Night." But the movie never turns maudlin or overly sentimental. Mercifully, the superb screenplay by Leonard Gardner (based on his book) is full of wry, offbeat humor. Struggling to survive in a world that not only passed them by, didn't even know they were there, their nobility lies in their endurance. Their very existence makes them worthy of our acknowledgement.

Tully is alcoholic, a has-been who never was. Sparring with a young boxing hopeful (Jeff Bridges) at the local YMCA sparks his desire to get back in the ring. At the same time, he meets fellow "juice head," Oma (Susan Tyrrell) at a downtown dive and the two quickly shack up together. Bruised but cocky, wounded and wounding, she is magnificent. It's one of the best portrayals of chronic alcoholism ever put forth on the screen. Tully returns to boxing but will never be a champion. His final bout in the film with a fellow washed-up pugilist is a sour, sad, haunting look at the brutality of the sport. Ernie Munger (Bridges) gets trapped into marriage by a cunning, vapid little vixen (Candy Clark), while Oma returns to her former flame, who is fresh out of jail. All concerned are heading nowhere fast. In fact, most of them have already arrived and are just ticking the days away.

Filmed on location in Stockton, California, cinematographer Conrad L. Hall has candidly captured the rawness of a migrant town. Conversely, Huston has dreamified it. John Huston is an amazing guy, probably the only macho "shit head" I'd not only want to hang out with, but befriend (if he'd have me). While most of his fellow filmmakers from the Golden Age of Hollywood were either dead, retired, or irrelevant, he was still conjuring up viable, exciting, authentic movie magic. Thanks, dude.

Distributed by Columbia Pictures, with the wonderful Nicholas Colasanto as a caring yet clueless boxing coach, Fat City is currently streaming on Tubi.

"Cold Pursuit", Liam Neeson's New Movie, is As Racist As Its Star

Cold Pursuit, Liam Neeson's new movie, is as racist as it's star. As Neeson indicated during his infamous interview with the Independent in which he detailed his plans to murder a random Black man following the revelation that a friend had been raped by an unknown Black assailant, Cold Pursuit is a story of violent revenge. Neeson's character, Nelson "Nels" Coxman, is also a respected citizen who becomes a homicidal vigilante. Unlike Neeson, Coxman follows through with his plans. Coxman methodically tracks down and kills members of a cocaine-trafficking organization after his son is killed for ripping them off. Unlike Neeson's story, the entire tale is fictional.

Cold Pursuit's sole Black character, "the Eskimo" has the poorest grammar in the film. Not only is he ridiculed for his use of the English language but his ethics are called into question as well -- the Eskimo, who's a hitman, is judged by a lifelong drug kingpin (who's white, of course) for welching on a deal to murder said kingpin. The judgemental drug dealer, "Viking", even goes so far as to ascribe Eskimo's moral failings to the entire "hood". Immediately following the use of racial stereotypes to disparage him to his face, Eskimo is murdered by a group of white guys.

The movie later goes out of its way to malign Native Americans, voiced by more than one white character, and an East Indian is dismissively referred to by his ethnicity -- in a condescending tone -- as though he weren't even standing there. The director, Hans Petter Moland, ensures that we see him die comically after proving ineffectual during a shootout.

Cold Pursuit's prejudices are not however gender-based. The despicability of the characters extends to the women. A female member of a Native American drug-trafficking organization that rivals Viking's is the one who refers pejoratively to the aforementioned Indian. Coxman's sister-in-law, who's rude and nasty in every scene, spits on her (apparently loving and devoted) husband's grave following his murder at Viking's hands. During her investigation, a local cop excited by the prospect of a turf war in her small town, celebrates her continued deception of an old boyfriend as she manipulates him into believing that she still cares so that he'll provide intel relevant to the disappearances. Finally, Nels Coxman's wife, after projecting her own feelings of guilt for not knowing their son better (while ignoring her husband's suicidal grief), leaves him in a decidedly callous fashion. He returns home one day to discover his wife gone and an envelope containing a completely blank card on the bed. She actually took the time to seal the envelope.

While director Hans Petter Moland was busy capturing unnecessary bigotry, he forgot to include small details like the fact that everyone's breath should be visible in wintry Keyhoe, Colorado, where the story is set. And after Coxman beats a man to the point of exhaustion -- outside in the snow -- his nose doesn't even run.

Cancel Liam Neeson and this movie.

Originally Posted 2/8/19

"Welcome to LA" Review

 

by Daniel White

Brave Geraldine Chaplin furnishes us with full frontal nudity in Alan Rudolph's Welcome to LA (1976). Unfortunately, the movie is not worthy of such a bold (reckless?) gesture. If you're going to expose yourself for all the world to see, be sure you disrobe for a laudable project. Not that a large percentage of the Earth's populace is going to watch this uneven, at times contrived film. Rudolph, who also wrote the screenplay, is a talented guy and there are flashes of brilliance. But, unfortunately, it's only moderately engaging. Striving for the grandeur and complexity of Nashville (which it resembles), Welcome to LA falls short.

Comparison to the fabled flick is inevitable, for Robert Altman, who helmed that magical opus, produced this pale copycat. An ensemble piece, also set in the music business, it follows a group of Angelenos and their less-than-compelling sexual/emotional exploits. What saves Rudolph's ass is the extraordinary group of actors he's employed. Along with Chaplin, playing an unhappy housewife whose marriage and sanity are in question, some of the finest film players from the seventies and beyond do interesting work.

Keith Carradine has been saddled with a role that's an extension of his selfish singer/songwriter in Nashville. As in the Altman classic, he has a bevy of quirky, unique ladies lusting after him. Viveca Lindfors, Sally Kellerman and Sissy Spacek all flesh out their underwritten parts and make them far more riveting than they have any right to be. Harvey Keitel is also very good as an ambitious executive married to Chaplin. Unfaithful and callous, his sudden awakening and attempt at reconciliation is poignant.

Richard Baskin provides the music, as well as performing some of it on camera. It's an uninspired, annoying score. Unlike Nashville, where the actors juiced up the soundtrack with their own exciting stuff, here it has been undermined by limiting it to only one man's voice.

There's nothing wrong with making a movie about shallow, disconnected souls. Just make sure your flick is not vapid as well. Alan Rudolph blurs the line between the two, giving us moments of inspiration, with plenty of tiresome fodder in between. Hey, I know I'm just a mouthy, opinionated movie guy and Alan Rudolph is an artist entrusting us with his vision. An early effort which I wanted to like, I look forward to catching some of his later endeavors.

Distributed by United Artists, with excellent cinematography by Dave Myers and featuring Lauren Hutton, Denver Pyle, and John Considine, Welcome to LA is currently streaming on Tubi.

"Cold Pursuit" Movie Review

by John Zenoni

I am a big fan of Liam Neeson and his action-packed, suspense films where he always saves the day, such as ‘Taken’, ‘Taken 2’, ‘Taken 3’, ‘Non-Stop’, ‘The Commuter’, ‘Unknown’ and more. But I have also recently thought, ‘If I see him play the same role one more time...’ Well I took a chance on his latest film, ‘Cold Pursuit’ and while I could technically classify this as a ‘typical’ Liam Neeson film, I have to say it was actually pretty good. 

***Spoiler Alert***











Yes, he plays a father who learns of his son’s sudden death (which, of course, was no accident) and gets angry and seeks revenge but this movie has great things about it that make it appealing. The first thing that drew my attention was the scenery. Nothing but snow, snow and more snow but amongst the gorgeous mountains! Absolutely beautiful. The next thing was seeing Laura Dern appear on the screen as she is always great in her film roles. She was a little underused in this one but she still did a great job. The other thing was the way the story was told. I can’t explain it other than to say that it used a unique of telling what happens to each character in the film. The storyline itself though was never too clear in my opinion about the son and how he ended up involved with the people he did but the end result was what mattered! A lot of great action in this one and the cinematography was great. The music used in the film also caught my attention and allowed me to hear two songs I have since been listening to - ‘2000 Miles’ by The Pretenders and ‘Coyote Dance’ by Robbie Robertson. Excellent use of the music in the film. While not the best it was still an enjoyable film!




Originally Posted 2/22/19

Related:



Liam Neeson Admits to Racist Murder Plot

"Spirited" is Horrific

 

by John Zenoni

I was torn about even commenting on this particular film because it would take my time and energy to do so. However, I then realized I needed to try and warn people about how absolutely horrible this one is, so as to avoid wasting time on it. Please note this is my opinion and if anyone disagrees and sees some redeeming value in it then share your thoughts.

But the latest holiday film, ‘Spirited’, made me wish that someone or something would come and spirit me away! I don’t even know how I managed to make it all the way through it, but once I got so far into it I figured I may as well finish it out. All I can say is, Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds must have been paid a fortune to star in this one but they should have asked them to nix the musical numbers. Horrific!

"Walk A Crooked Mile" Review

 

by Daniel White

Walk A Crooked Mile (1948) is an unremarkable film. A solid, sturdy, unexceptional docudrama (NOT a film noir, but more about that later) about an FBI agent and his Scotland Yard counterpart, and their tireless efforts to uncover a Soviet led spy ring. What is remarkable about this flick is its backstory. It was released in 1948, just as America was stepping up its pursuit of communist sympathizers. Producer Edward Small, hoping to capitalize with stories about treasonous turncoats, decided to make a movie highlighting the FBI's involvement in this fevered witch hunt.

Of course, when Madame Hoover got wind of it, he wanted to take complete control of the project, a situation Small was determined to avoid. He knew J. Edgar would attempt to coerce him into producing a film the FBI chief approved of, so he refused any help from the bureau. A miffed Hoover withdrew all support, even making a public statement disavowing the flick. Talk about a woman scorned. Egads! What I find fascinating is Small's standing up to this petty, yet powerful tyrant. Presidents, public figures, even military heroes, all trembled before this bully in a Balenciaga ball gown. But a Hollywood producer who specialized in B movies told him to shove it! A hero for the ages, Edward Small deserves an honorary Oscar for displaying such cojones (except Oscars rarely go to those who truly deserve them).

I wish I could report Walk A Crooked Mile is a razzle dazzler but it's only an okay, espionage mystery. Dennis OKeefe plays FBI man Dan O'Hara who enlists the help of British detective Philip "Scotty" Grayson (Louis Hayward). They're both able, resourceful actors who get the job done. And a relatively svelte Raymond Burr, as a sadistic henchman for the rotten Reds is satisfyingly sinister. The screenplay is serviceable and the dark alley cinematography by Edward Colman and George Robinson, more than fitting. And it's a hoot to watch the bureau's archaic, rudimentary methods of subterfuge (tapping pay phones??!!). But, again nothing extra special. However, I felt it my duty as a wanna-be troublemaker and failed rabble-rouser, to watch this film and pay a sincere tribute to Mr. Small. Your movie may not be great, but you, sir, most definitely were.

Finally, back to that age old question that continually plagues film buffs: what constitutes a true film noir? I would say nyet to qualifying Walk A Crooked Mile as a noir. Why? Primarily because it's a straightforward account of the incorruptible law tracking down a ring of lefty spies (it's a gas when our commies are hanging out, calling each other "Comrade" ad nauseam ). The key word is "straightforward." There is NOTHING straightforward about film noir.

Distributed by Columbia Pictures, narrated by the stentorian voiced Reed Hadley, and co-starring the underused Louise Allbritton, Walk A Crooked Mile is currently available on YouTube.

"The Menu" Mini-Review

 

by John Zenoni

One of the better and more enjoyable films I have seen in the past couple of months has been ‘The Menu’, starring Ralph Fiennes and Anna Taylor-Joy in the main roles of Julian Slowik, the mysterious chef, and Margot Mills, who just happens to be an afterthought guest at the special dinner prepared by Slowik.

I think that what really appeals to me about this film is that the storyline is unique and different from the standard action and rom-coms that dominate the late summer/fall season. It definitely has some scares that produce jumps and makes one feel uncomfortable. Watching the reactions of the guests as they realize what's happening over the course of the evening with each meal adds to the appeal of the film. Fiennes and Taylor-Joy definitely play off each other very well and give great performances!

The 26 Biggest Movie Flops of 2017

When it comes to movies, they can't all be winners. And lately, more and more of them are proving to be financial disasters. This (and last) year has seen its fair share of box-office bombs and 2017 seemed to follow the same trend. Here are the biggest losers of the year:





26. Patti Cake$

Loss: $250,000









25. Paris Can Wait

Loss: $1 Million









24. Logan Lucky

Loss: $5 Million









23. Free Fire

Loss: $5.5 Million









22. 3 Generations

Loss: $5.7 Million









21. Wonderstruck

Loss: $6 Million









20. The Zookeeper's Wife

Loss: $7 Million









19. The Book of Henry

Loss: $8 Million









18. mother!

Loss: $8 Million









17. Life

Loss: $12 Million









16. CHiPs

Loss: $12 Million









15. Snatched

Loss: $12 Million









14. Colossal

Loss: $13 Million









13. Battle of the Sexes

Loss: $16 Million









12. Wonder Wheel

Loss: $17 Million









11. Unforgettable

Loss: $18 Million









10. Tulip Fever

Loss: $21 Million









9. All the Money in the World

Loss: $22 Million









8. The House

Loss: $23 Million









7. Ghost in the Shell

Loss: $26 Million









6. Power Rangers

Loss: $34 Million









5. Rough Night

Loss: $38 Million









4. Justice League

Loss: $60 Million









3. The Mummy

Loss: $95 Million









2. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Loss: $150 Million









1. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Loss: $175 Million

Originally Posted 11/22/19

"City That Never Sleeps" Review

 

by Daniel White

Marie Windsor manages to lend an air of much-needed film noir authenticity to Republic Pictures' City That Never Sleeps (1953). However, even one of Hollywood's fiercest femme fatales can't save this flick from failing to score as a true noir. Why? A standard screenplay by Steve Fisher that refuses to explore moral ambiguity or study the possibility that some folks prefer to inhabit the darkness. No, indeedy, City That Never Sleeps is firmly in the corner of family, faith, and the fuzz. Which makes it an adequate crime drama but NOT a dimly lit, dangerous film noir. Which is really too bad, because besides the gloriously amoral Marie as lawyer Edward Arnold's two-timing wife, the film displays several other twisted touches.

It opens with Chill Wills as the voice of the "city" (Chicago, in this case) introducing us to the main players in the movie. It's a cornball routine that gets heavy-handed when Wills turns up as police officer John Kelly's conscientious partner. Young is efficient as the conflicted Kelly, who feels trapped by his job and unhappy marriage. But it's easy to see why the actor was rarely offered leading man roles; there's something noticeably lightweight about him. Failing to fill out his uniform, he looks more like an unsure adolescent playing dress up than a grown man. Torn between his duties as doting husband and dutiful cop, he finally makes the decision to chuck it all and split Chi-town with embittered stripper, Cathy (an effective Mala Powers). However, before our self-doubting hero can break free, he has one more night driving around in his patrol car. A night in which he will come to the conclusion that being a faithful hubby and clock-punching flatfoot is more satisfying than running off with sex-pot showgirl "Angel Face" (Powers).

William Tallman nicely embodies a shady pickpocket-turned-muscle for Arnold's shifty attorney (a former magician, he keeps a white rabbit for a pet). And Wally Cassell as a forlorn loser who works as a mechanical man in a storefront window is a quirky gimmick that adds a unique flavor to the proceedings. But all these oddball add-ons can't conceal the fact this is nothing more than a cliched tale about the importance of coloring between the lines. In other words, "doing the right thing" at all costs. Ho-hum.

Cinematographer John L. Russell manages to give the flick an arresting, appropriate film noir feel and Paula Raymond, Otto Huelett and Bunny Kacher all do serviceable jobs in support roles. But this is a morality play where morality wins, making it ultimately less than memorable. Ending in one of the lamest foot chases ever filmed, City That Never Sleeps is available on YouTube.

The Absolute Best Way to Watch the Marvel Cinematic Universe Unfold

Never seen a Marvel comic book movie and thinking about joining the millions of other people who have, except you're worried that your unfamiliarity with the comics'll leave you totally lost? You're in luck. We put together this handy guide that'll allow you to get your MCU game on track. 

What's the MCU you ask? Marvel Entertainment -- the comic book publisher that brought the world superheroes such as Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk (not Superman and Batman, they're owned by a whole other company) -- developed a film arm a few years ago, Marvel Studios, responsible for bringing their superhuman characters to a theater near you. The comics are full of hundreds of people who can fly, smash through buildings and crawl across ceilings. The movies, on the other hand, contain only a fraction of them. Many of them interact with each other and show up in each other's films. That world, which they inhabit together, is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. So far, the MCU consists of 20 movies with many more to come. What happens in one film influences the events -- and the people -- in another. 

You could devote considerable time towards watching all 20 movies -- gems and duds alike -- to find out how the overall story unfolds. But you don't have to. We've wasted our time for you. Follow these steps and you'll reap the best entertainment value to be had from the MCU. You'll see the best of the best and bypass the meaningless entries and the junk that never should've seen the inside of a digital projector.  





Step 1. Iron Man

Iron Man is the very first installment of the MCU. Understanding that most non-comic book readers are completely unfamiliar with the character, Marvel Studios wisely presented the movie as an origin story -- establishing the precedent for the initial solo film of nearly every Marvel hero to come. Billionaire genius Tony Stark's (the man inside the Iron Man suit) motivations and inner-demons play a pivotal role in a couple of the later movies -- and the fate of the world -- and this one gives you an idea of what kind of guy he is.

While the movie's primary importance lies in its presentation of background information, what you'll love most is seeing Iron Man flying -- and crashing. However, Stark reveals his previously secret identity to the world during a press conference at the end of the movie. As a result, S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division)-director Nick Fury approaches him and lets him know that his organization is considering him for "the Avengers Initiative".

Step 2. The First Avenger

Like Iron Man, Captain America: The First Avenger introduces a lesser-known superhero to theater-goers. Unlike the previous movie, The First Avenger mostly takes place in the past -- during the 1940s. It's unique in that it's the only World War II movie of the series. Don't worry -- the film will explain why a guy who fought in the second world war matters 70 years later.

The story details how a short and scrawny but tough and principled U.S. Army reject (Steve Rogers) becomes the first and last successful participant in the military's "super-soldier" program in which his strength, agility, endurance, healing, speed and reflexes are increased exponentially. He also grows taller and gains an astounding amount of muscle mass. His primary weapon, a shield made from vibranium, was designed by one of his contemporaries, genius-industrialist Howard Stark (Tony's father). Following Rogers' plane crashing into the Arctic Ocean, Stark retrieves an otherworldly device called the Tesseract (which was also on the plane) while attempting (unsuccessfully) to locate Steve and the aircraft.

After Rogers awakens in New York City after being frozen in the Arctic for seven decades, he's offered a mission by Nick Fury in a post-credits scene.

You won't see anyone flying through the clouds but watching Cap acquire his powers is entertaining enough. Like Iron Man, Captain America's worldview has an enormous impact on events to come in later movies. 









Step 3. The Avengers

The Avengers finally brings Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, Hawkeye and Black Widow together when the "Avengers Initiative" is activated in order to save New York City from an alien invasion that none of them could hope to thwart without the others. It also happens to be the most entertaining and re-watchable entry in the series and its what all of the preceding films were building up to.

The Tesseract is used to open an intergalactic portal that allows an alien army entrance to Earth right above Manhattan.


Captain America begins to take the reins of the team that he commands in the comics but the Hulk and Iron Man steal the show.

In a mid-credits scene following the movie, it's revealed that a mysterious figure in space (Thanos) was ultimately behind the invasion. 









Step 4. The Winter Soldier

Captain America: The Winter Soldier isn't the first MCU movie to follow The Avengers but it is the first good one. It's also one of the rare sequels that is actually better than its predecessor (Think: The Empire Strikes Back and The Dark Knight). While The First Avenger is a war movie, The Winter Soldier is a spy-thriller. It also serves to introduce future-Avenger Falcon.

The Winter Soldier himself turns out to be Cap's oldest friend James "Bucky" Barnes, previously thought to have been killed after falling from a train. Actually, Barnes was rescued by a Russian intelligence agency, injected with the same (stolen) "super-soldier serum" as Rogers, brainwashed, periodically placed in cryogenic stasis and trained to be an assassin. He's also been outfitted with a vibrainium arm to replace the one he lost during WWII. Following a near-fatal confrontation with Steve, Buck's brainwashing wears off slightly.

After discovering that the agency has been infiltrated by a terrorist organization and irrevocably corrupted, Cap literally dismantles S.H.I.E.L.D. with the help of Falcon and Black Widow. A mid-credits scene introduces two future Avengers, twins Pietro and Wanda Maximoff.

Step 5. The Age of Ultron

So far, The Avengers: The Age of Ultron is the first movie in which the Avengers are tasked with saving the world. The film also features super-powered characters Quicksilver, the Scarlet Witch and Avengers-member War Machine.

Age of Ultron features two villains: black-market vibranium-dealer Ulysses Klaue, who confesses that the substance was obtained in the African nation Wakanda (in its first MCU mention) and narcissistic A.I. Ultron, who shatters the scepter used by Thor's brother Loki in The Avengers to reveal that it contains an Infinity Stone, specifically, the mind stone. Ultron implants the stone into the forehead of the Vision, intending to download himself into the body.

Captain America has some great lines. Some of the best actually - even better than Iron Man's. They include:

"I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science invented was me."
"You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed - walk it off."
"What kinda monster would let a German scientist experiment on him to help his country?" (Sarcastically referring to himself)  

A mid-credits scene features Thanos brandishing the Infinity Gauntlet.









Step 6. Ant-Man

Ant-Man finally brought Avengers founding member and Ultron-inventor Dr. Hank Pym into the fold. The movie also teases the future appearance of another Avenger -- the Wasp. Falcon is the only present Avenger to show up. 

Ant-Man bears the distinction of being the only superhero movie that belongs to the "heist film" genre and represents the very rare occasion in which a heavy emphasis on comedy in a superhero movie is a good idea.









Step 7. Civil War

 

Captain America: Civil War illustrates the vast difference in the way that Iron Man and Captain America see the world. One of the Avengers' greatest adversaries in the comics and most realistic in the movies -- Baron Zemo -- makes an appearance. The movie also introduces a couple more heroes -- Spider-Man and Black Panther.

After Bucky (the Winter Soldier) is framed for assassinating the Black Panther,  T'Chaka, his son T'Challa takes on the BP mantle and doggedly pursues Buck in order to avenge his father's murder eventually forging a temporary alliance with a faction of the team headed by Tony Stark (Iron Man). Ever the faithful friend, Cap leads the other half of the Avengers against Chrome-Dome and company in order to keep his boy out of prison and any number of super-powered crosshairs. 

When all's said and done, the team is split up (along with Cap's shield) and a post-credits scene reveals that the new Wakandan king (T'Challa), after realizing that WS was set up, has offered the now one-armed Bucky (thanks to his fight with Stark) asylum and psychological treatment to counteract his brain-washing in the safety of the African nation.









Step 8. Black Panther

Black Panther deserves several articles of its own but we'll keep it short for the purposes of this post. BP ends with T'Challa agreeing to share Wankanda's far-reaching technological advances with the rest of the world (which will naturally include the Avengers).

In a post-credits scene, Bucky is revealed to be still missing an arm and living in Wakanda, though there's a suggestion that he may be rid of the mind control. He's even been given a nickname -- White Wolf -- a reference to a caucasian character from the comics who's adopted by T'Chaka and raised and trained alongside T'Challa.  









Step 9. Infinity War

Infinity War brings almost every MCU hero together in one movie (the exceptions are Ant-Man and Hawkeye). After fulfilling his mission of assembling all six Infinity Gems, intergalactic tyrant Thanos wipes out half of all life in the universe with a snap of his fingers. His victims include the Winter Soldier, Groot, the Scarlet Witch, Falcon, Doctor Strange, Spider-Man, Peter Quill, Drax, Mantis and Black Panther. He also murders Vision, Gamora and Loki with his bare hands. 

I've seen Infinity War three times already and I like it even more than I did the first time I watched it. I agree with the filmmakers that this is mainly Thanos' story. There was some question as to whether a live-action Thanos would or even could do the original comics version justice. And the fact is that the iteration of the character that we see in Infinity surpasses all the ones that came before. But there are standouts on the other side of the war as well.

The pressure was on for the MCU's 18th feature to deliver on 10 years worth of build-up. And IW certainly met the challenge. The Guardians of the Galaxy have never been better -- not even in their own movies. Quill and Rocket outshone the vast majority of the other characters onscreen. The two of them really did have the best lines. Infinity also provides the greatest showcase for Thor. It's a huge step up from the Thor trilogy, in particular. He really does emerge as the hero, albeit an unsuccessful one.

There you have it. So far, the MCU also includes three Thor movies, two Guardians of the Galaxy movies, two Iron Man movies and an Ant-Man movie that failed to make this list. Also left off are Doctor Strange and Spider-Man: Homecoming. Don't sweat it and don't bother watching them. None of them are necessary and most are best ignored. They're best disavowed like 2008's The Incredible Hulk -- Marvel has downplayed Hulk's connection to the MCU since the year it was released.

Step 10. Endgame

Endgame starts off promising enough: we finally see Hawkeye again (thankfully out of his ridiculous uniform) after three years; Tony Stark and Nebula work together in a desperate but doomed attempt to get Peter Quill's battered ship to civilization before they run out of breathable air (they've already run out of food -- the consequences of embarking on a hopeless mission without a real plan); Captain Marvel miraculously locates the pair in time; after locating Thanos, the surviving Avengers minus a malnourished Iron Man but with assistance from Marvel and Nebula confront him again; Thor chops off the retired warlord's gauntlet and then his head. Unfortunately, Thanos revealed before his death that he destroyed the Infinity Stones -- which leads the heroes to conclude that they must accept the new state of the universe. 

Things are still moving along nicely when we catch up to some of the survivors five years later: Steve Rogers has taken a page out of the deceased Sam Wilson's book and now leads "survivors' guilt" group therapy sessions; and Ant-Man, who's been trapped in the Quantum Realm since before The Snap, is finally released when a rat (a shoutout to Disney?) manages to step on the "Enter" button on the keyboard in Luis' van; Cap and Scott present the latter's Back to the Future plan to Tony, who's now living the quiet life with Pepper and their daughter, Morgan.

Also, Thor finally becomes the clown that his father always feared he would be. And for some reason, he hands the Asgardian leadership reins over to Valkyrie -- who was just as much of a drunk as he is a mere six years prior (in Ragnarok). Worse, she was a despotic slave-master's mercenary toady and failed to lift a finger when Thanos and his people murdered half of her fellow refugees (in Infinity War). Even Drax would make a better king. And where the hell did she get a flying horse??

Eventually, things get back on track: Hawkeye and Black Widow head to Vormir in order to get their hands on the Soul Stone, which costs Natasha her life; when Nebula visits 2014, Thanos discovers the 2023 Avengers' plan and decides to let them do his dirty work and then simply take the Stones from them; we get a battle royale between the Avengers and their allies and Thanos' vast army.

Even though we've all known for a year that Black Panther and Spider-man would be resurrected (a moment that elicited applause in the theater), it was great to actually see the two of them -- not to mention Falcon and Bucky -- step onto the battlefield.

While Endgame represents a step back in MCU quality in some respects (especially after the two giant leaps forward of Black Panther and Infinity War), the filmmakers seemed to have learned lessons from others' mistakes: Tony Stark gets the death that his DC counterpart and fellow billionaire/genius/playboy/non-superpowered hero (Bruce Wayne) should've had in The Dark Knight Rises; and Thanos is allowed the dignified end that his fellow galactic tyrant (Darth Vader) was denied in Return of the Jedi. 

The movie's undisputed greatest line is delivered by the very mortal Tony Stark: 

"I am Iron Man."

Step 11. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

The former Sorcerer Supreme devotes himself to protecting teenage orphan America Chavez from embittered mass-murderer Wanda Maximoff, who intends to steal her ability to travel between universes in order to be with the children that she conjured for herself. Strange must confront his own character flaws or neither he nor his rescuee will survive.

Forced to battle demons, monsters, secret societies and a fallen witch, Dr. Stephen Strange's second solo mission is exponentially better than his first. Doc Strange is undoubtedly the most-improved MCU hero and sub-franchise -- hands down. The movie's only flaw lies in the inclusion of cheesy ass Illuminati members: Black Bolt, Reed Richards and Professor X (and his goofy yellow hoverchair).

Step 12. Wakanda Forever

One year after King T'Challa's death, M'Baku and the Wakandan royal family must protect the kingdom from western nations, including the U.S. and France, intent on stealing deposits of vibranium for themselves. Simultaneously, the empire of Talokan is revealed and its ruler, Namor, threatens to declare war if neither Queen Ramonda or Princess Shuri complies with his demand that the American scientist responsible for inventing a device capable of detecting the powerful mineral be eliminated.





Originally Posted 9/1/17
Updated 11/15/17
Updated 2/28/18
Updated 7/7/18