"The Female Animal" Review

 

by Daniel White

You know a movie is in deep doo doo when the best performance in it is given by Miss Hedy Lamarr. Such is the case with Universal International's The Female Animal (1958), a sudsy potboiler that also serves as Lamarr's swan song. She plays Vanessa Windsor, Hollywood movie star, a booze hound on the prowl for young men to devour. A chance encounter on the movie set that she's working on introduces her to Chris Farley (George Nader), an extra with sex appeal. Smitten with Chris, Vanessa wastes no time in luring him into her seductive web. Of course things can't run smoothly, especially when Stud Nader becomes romantically involved with Hedy's adopted daughter, Penny (Jane Powell).

Wow, this is hackneyed stuff, an over the top soap opera that contains a truly bad acting job from the usually charming Jane Powell. She makes Patty Duke as Neely O'Hara look like an Oscar contender. But I'm not one to let bad acting keep me from enjoying myself, so like a cat slurps up a bowl full of cream, I ate up Jane's wretched acting, enthralled by the sheer horridness of it.

George Nader escapes largely unscathed, but the wonderful Jan Sterling is underused. As Lily Frayne, another aging mantrap, she mostly sulks around, occasionally dropping a feeble bon mot.

In researching this movie I discovered that The Female Animal was the "A" picture released on a double bill with, get this... TOUCH OF EVIL!!!!! Touch of Evil is one of the greatest movies ever made, a film noir classic that I could watch over and over. The Female Animal is noted for being the last flick that Hedy Lamarr (who by the way, at 44 looks sensational) ever made (she must have looked at the finished product and fled for the hills). One point of interest: Miss Lamarr first gained recognition by a nude swim she took in the Czech film Ecstasy (1933). Near the end of The Female Animal, she takes an unexpected high dive into a pool of water. A fitting end to an illustrious career.

With Mabel Albertson and James Gleason providing some much needed supporting help, The Female Animal is available on YouTube -- for those who are looking for a movie that's so bad it's almost good.