The Best TV of 2009

The best television shows in 2009 happened to be various episodes of two newcomers to the small screen: Eastbound and Down and Community. The former featured a racist, homophobic ex-baseball player forced to teach gym at his former middle school after being drummed out of the MLB and the latter featured a dysfunctional group of students of various ages and backgrounds at a community college. 





11. "James Rolf High School Twentieth Reunion" (Party Down)

When Henry reveals that he's planning to move back home at team leader Ron Donald's high school reunion, Casey reluctantly confesses that she doesn't want him to leave town. Meanwhile, Ron makes a connection with his school crush, former student body president Melinda.









10. "Brandix Corporate Retreat" (Party Down)

The team caters a corporate retreat where retired NBA champion Rick Fox is the keynote speaker. When Casey befriends Fox, Henry gets jealous and when Roman discovers that Casey and Henry have been seeing each other, he gets jealous; Henry and Casey's secret relationship gets exposed at a team meeting. 









9. "Celebrate Ricky Sargulesh" (Party Down)

Tensions are still high after Henry's relationship with Casey is exposed. Suspecting that Casey was too friendly with Rick Fox, Henry accepts the advances of  party guest Ula. Despite insisting that she has no feelings for Henry, Casey becomes jealous when she finds out about his rendezvous. When Ula's mobster boyfriend finds out, Henry pretends to be Casey's fiance.









8. "Introduction to Statistics" (Community)

Things go horribly awry for Greendale Community College's most dysfunctional study group on Dia de los Muertos. Abed loses himself when he dons a Batman costume; Annie throws a holiday party in a desperate bid to become popular; Pierce goes on a bad trip after taking one of Starburns' Ecstasy pills; Shirley projects her jealousy onto Britta; Jeff tries to convince his statistics professor into breaking her rule against dating students; and Britta dishonestly denies her feelings of jealousy against said professor.

Some of the gang members' costumes are unexpectedly impressive, especially Troy as Eddie Murphy in his Delirious stand-up special and Pierce as Dar from The Beastmaster.

As usual, Senor Chang steals every scene in which he appears. And has the best lines:

Senor Chang: "Looks like you struck out, Winger."

Jeff: "She blew you off too, Chang."

Chang: "Is that what you're falling back on? Look at me. I have the body of a fifth-grader."









7. Community Pilot Episode

After a successful attorney is notified by the state Bar that his Colombian degree is "less than legitimate", he enrolls in community college in a bid to keep his plush life. But after a thinly-veiled attempt to snag a date with an unexpectedly perceptive co-ed goes awry he finds himself entrenched in a dysfunctional study group. Other members include: a privileged feminist; a former high school football star; a film buff with Asperger's; a middle-aged divorcee; a racist, retired CEO; and an uptight goody two-shoes.









6. "Introduction to Film" (Community)

Britta finds herself in over her head after injecting herself into Abed's relationship with his father. Meanwhile, Jeff's plan to score an easy A is endangered when his accounting professor realizes that he doesn't take his class seriously.









5. "Chapter 3" (Eastbound & Down)

Washed-up baseball player Kenny Powers agrees to sell his memorabilia on eBay, hires an unpaid assistant and begins taking steroids with plans to embark on a comeback to the majors.









4. "Chapter 4" (Eastbound & Down)

When Kenny attends a cookout hosted by his high school sweetheart, April, and her fiance, she returns his affections but the party grinds to a halt after Kenny's date and April's fiance get drunk together.









3. "Football, Feminism and You" (Community)

Annie exposes Jeff's self-serving plan to talk Troy into joining the Greendale football team while Jeff realizes that Annie's secretly in love with Troy and is merely attempting to prevent him from regaining his stardom, which she fears would make him inaccessible to her.

Meanwhile, Britta learns that her hyper-aggressive brand of feminism is alienating other women.








2. "Home Economics" (Community)

Annie hides her feelings for Troy while she helps him to prepare for a date with another woman. Her fear of being rejected by him prevents Annie from confessing her love -- but doesn't stop her from faking appendicitis in a desperate attempt to stall the date.

Meanwhile, Britta's mistreatment of ex-boyfriend Vaughn comes back to haunt her in the form of an unflattering song ("Getting Rid of Britta") -- co-written by Pierce.

The episode's best line comes from Annie immediately following Troy expressing his gratitude (and walking away) after he misinterprets her date suggestion for the two of them as a proposal for an evening between Troy and another co-ed (Randi).

Annie: "You're welcome. And I hate you. And I wanna have your children."

But Jeff wasn't too shabby either: "The next person who offers me charity or pity will be mentioned by name in my suicide note."

Neither was this exchange:

Pierce: "Before AIDS sex was like shaking hands."

Abed: "Hence AIDS."

1. G.I. Joe: Resolute

Improving on the Marvel Comics iteration and eschewing the goofy aspects of the popular 1980s cartoon (don't even the mention the unwatchable movies), this iteration of the G.I. Joe story is the closest that any media has ever come to the tone presented in the file cards located on the packages of the toys. Gone are the fistfights, the lessons at the end of each episode and the stupid blue and red lasers; G.I. Joe: Resolution never forgets that it's a story about military combat. The casualties -- which were nonexistent in the Real American Hero series -- are very high and they include major characters, including the mercenary Zartan and missile specialist David "Bazooka" Katzenbogen; Major Sebastian Bludd even gets stabbed to death by Cobra Commander himself. While G.I. Joe missed the mark with the franchise's 1987 animated movie, the Joes finally lived up to their robotic toy counterparts in The Transformers: The Movie with Resolute.