The 12 Best Movies of 2005

12. Kicking & Screaming

Will Ferrell learns futball as Phil Weston, a mild-mannered vitamin shop owner who agrees to coach his son's little-league soccer team. The funniest moment comes when after Phil's wife attempts to cheer him up with a pep talk about how great a husband he is, he turns to her and asks, "What does that have to do with anything?!?"

11. Assault on Precinct 13

10. Inside Deep Throat

Super producers Brian Glazer and an uncredited Ron Howard present interviews with prosecutors, filmmakers, mob associates, theater owners and more that reveal how a confluence of government hypocrisy, Hollywood icons, mass curiosity and greed turned a subpar, low-budget indie film into the most profitable movie of all time.

9. Cinderella Man

When Cinderella Man was initially advertised I had no familiarity with the career of its subject, James J. Braddock. But it wasn't a problem because the movie provides a pretty insightful look at his career and home life. Incidentally, Braddock's middle name was Walter. He used the "J" because two previous boxing champions, James J. Corbett and James J. Jeffries, had the initial and the same first name. Braddock's nickname, after which the film is titled, was given to him by writer Damon Runyon, a contemporary of his.

The movie begins well into Braddock's career, as he and his family live the high-life. Then the stock market crash of 1929 sends Braddock and millions of other Americans into abject poverty. Due to a broken hand, he's unable to continue earning income as a boxer and accepts jobs as a day laborer, concealing his injury, on the docks -- eventually going on welfare in order to feed his family. What makes Braddock's story so inspirational is that he works his way back up from the very bottom to the heights of pugilism to face 1934 and 1935 heavyweight champ Max Baer, who once killed an opponent (he was even charged with manslaughter, but was acquitted), as a 10-to-1 underdog.

The movie ends before Braddock unsuccessfully defended his title against legendary heavyweight Joe "the Brown Bomber" Louis in 1937, making him the first titleholder in 29 years to put his belt on the line against an African-American -- which helped to permanently integrate boxing. Of course, Braddock's decision to risk his crown wasn't entirely altruistic. A key provision in the negotiations was that Braddock was entitled to 10% of what Louis earned for the next 10 years -- win or lose.









8. Hostel

In this squid game without a potential big money payday, students check into a minimal housing facility during a trip to Europe and they find themselves on the wrong side of depraved billionaires wielding scalpels, meat cleavers and whatever other instruments of death that they can get their hands on.  









7. The Great Raid

6. Beauty Shop

5. Munich

The story, based on true events, follows a group of operatives tasked my Mossad to take down the members of the Palestininan terrorist group Black September, who killed 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Summer Olympics. 

Munich, one of director Steven Spielberg's best films, was absolutely robbed at the 78th Academy Awards. Though the movie received five nominations, including one for Best Picture, it came away with nothing.

4. War of the Worlds

Hostile Martians launch a global invasion during the same weekend that New Jersey crane operator Ray Ferrier has his kids, Robbie and Rachel. After studying mankind's military tactics for millenia, the aliens initiate their Mars attack on large metropolitan cities such as Paris, London, New York City and Washington, D.C. using EMPs that cripple our weapons and communications systems.

The Martian man-hunters operate enormous tripods that were hidden underground and that are equipped with force shields and weapons that can instantly reduce humans to ash. The invaders don't kill everyone they encounter. Many humans are harvested for their blood, which is used to fertilize Martian plant-life.

When Rachel is abducted and placed inside one of the tripods, Ray's paternal instincts kick into overdrive and he allows himself to be captured so that he can rescue her.

Luckily for the Ferriers, and the rest of us, the Martians are vulnerable to various microbes native to the planet to which humans have developed immunities.









3. Hitch

Will Smith has only headlined one romantic comedy and he knocked it outta the park with this story about a romance-consultant who meets someone who causes him to consider leaving the game himself.









2. Batman Begins

The decision to showcase the relatively unknown (to the general public) villains Scarecrow and R'as al Ghul was brilliant, not to mention the previously criminally under-utilized Lucius Fox. And Michael Caine is hands-down the greatest Alfred to ever serve Bruce Wayne a cup of tea.

No matter how much Michael Keaton exceeded expectations, Christian Bale did what Birdman never could -- he made Bruce Wayne as interesting as Batman.

Begins is also gloriously-free of a manic villain, though it ushered in the trend of what eventually became a trilogy of featuring at least two members of the Batman's infamous rogue's gallery in each film. 

While Batman Begins is the least entertaining installment of the three, much like Star Wars, it provides a necessary and damned-near too-good-to-be-true foundation for what comes later. Bruce Wayne's ninjitsu training fills in the gaps between spoiled, rich kid and Gotham scourge.

The secret to Begins' success is really simple logic: The premise of comic books is inherently silly, so the tone of a film adaptation should be sincere and serious in order to counter the built-in ridiculousness. Batman Begins had no Jim Carrey, no sidekick in a girly costume, no mutants with pet penguins, no gangsters with novelty gadgets and no Alicia Silverstone. Just darkness, grit, and viable explanations.

For the very first time, Batman was realistic.









1. Wedding Crashers

Originally Posted 4/30/20