Lots of great movies were released in 2018. But lots of dishwater hit theaters too. Here are the
Solo
Unlike the prequel trilogy and The Last Jedi, Solo's not offensively bad -- but it is a waste of time. It's not divisive or anger-inducing it's just a big pile of nothing. But there are two damn good scenes -- either of which would have made for damn good movies if they'd been stretched into two hours. The first gives a brief glimpse into Han's military service. After being busted down to a grunt following charges of insubordination, everybody's favorite Corellian is stuck in the muddy trenches and fighting for survival during the Battle of Mimban. It's basically the Star Wars version of Saving Private Ryan (Why couldn't we have seen that??). The other great scene is more or less what I'd hoped for when this flick was announced: spaceships in space. Han, Lando, Chewie, Han's shady ex, Lando's droid and Han's smuggling mentor run for their lives after heading straight into an Imperial blockade comprised of a Star Destroyer and a squadron of TIE-fighters. It's pretty dope -- until the giant space octopus shows up. Smh.
Solo reminds me of the 2011 Conan the Barbarian remake that had virtually no connection (different director, writers, studio and star) to the original two films. Despite Solo being written (partially) by Star Wars veteran scribe Lawrence Kasdan under the auspices of Lucasfilm, it comes across as being a knock-off -- almost a mockbuster.
It's a sincere piece of filmmaking, as opposed to the unintentional parody that is The Last Jedi, but somehow Solo still doesn't seem...authentic. It's not Spaceballs -- it's more like Atlantic Rim (the low-budget rip-off of 2013's Pacific Rim).
2015's Ant-Man was an actual superhero movie that fit nicely into the MCU. The follow-up, Ant-Man and the Wasp, seems more like a Honey, I Shrunk the Kids sequel. The story mostly centers on a father and daughter with miniaturizing technology at their disposal on a desperate hunt for a way to restore ma dukes to normal size. They might as well have named this shit Honey, Mom Shrunk Herself. The only thing missing was an end-credits scene featuring Rick Moranis. You're better off watching an old episode of "The Littles".
Pacific Rim: Uprising
For everyone who was disappointed by Finn's characterization in The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, Pacific Rim: Uprising is the movie for you -- almost. John Boyega is the absolute best thing about the movie. And it starts off pretty great: there's nice-looking sci-fi and a guy who looks exactly like Finn showing backbone and displaying competence. But then all of his myriad co-stars show up and the whole thing turns into eyebrow dandruff.
2013's excellent Pacific Rim was practically begging for a sequel and laid the groundwork for a follow-up nicely. Unfortunately, the folks behind Uprising failed to resist the temptation to go much, much bigger -- literally, in the case of the final monster -- repeating the exact same mistake made in Independence Day: Resurgence. Maybe writer/director Steven S. DeKnight followed Resurgence's playbook (like a dummy). Both movies take place years after its predecessor; and each movie's star is the son of the previous film's dead military pilot hero. When will they learn? You'd think the head writer of the Starz network's "Spartacus" series could do better than this.
Proud Mary
Venom
Venom made an extraordinary amount of money -- especially considering that it's a movie about a comic book supervillain. But it's just as wack as it is profitable. So I guess it all evens out.
A Wrinkle in Time
Based on the award-winning 1962 novel of the same name, A Wrinkle in Time is the story of kid-genius Charles Wallace Murry and his big sister Meg's intergalactic quest to locate their missing physicist father. The siblings, along with Meg's classmate, Calvin O'Keefe, are aided on their journey by three supernatural beings, Mrs Which, Mrs Who and Mrs Whatsit. After the magical trio abandons the kids on a distant planet, Charles Wallace's body becomes possessed by a source of pure evil referred to as "The It".
Pessimistic and close-minded Meg comes of age as a result of the trio's adventures on alien worlds and battles against The It.
While Disney has enjoyed staggering success this year (courtesy of movies such as Black Panther and Infinity War), the studio has had its share of failures as well (most notably in the form of Solo). A Wrinkle in Time falls into the second category. Vivid colors and discussions about self-confidence abound but staying awake through this snooze-fest long enough to catch it all is a challenge. Despite the fact that the source material was published more than half a century ago, Wrinkle comes off as a much less-entertaining rip-off of the 1984 film The Neverending Story. The only thing missing was a furry white dragon.
Annihilation
Super-pretentious sci-fi (or of any other genre) doesn't really do it for me. The best thing about Annihilation is the bear -- one of the best in cinematic history next to the flaming grizzly in Only the Brave, the quintessential mama bear in The Revenant -- and Baloo.
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider is one of the movies whose commercial failings were attributed to the cinematic juggernaut which was Black Panther. The truth is TR's just not a good movie. It is, however, an example of literal man-bashing. Though the main character, Lara Croft, taps out after getting her ass handed to her by a female opponent during a mixed martial arts training bout, she never again strikes another woman in the film. But she does manage to beat up and even kill a few dudes. She uses her MMA skills to merc an actual mercenary -- despite having been exhausted from a jungle chase; a near-fatal escape from a planewreck on a waterfall; and a puncture wound to the midsection. Among other things, Tomb Raider is guilty of "fridging" -- the heroine's belief that the man in her life (her father) is dead is the catalyst for her leaving her low-paying bike messenger job behind and embarking on a global adventure.
Originally Posted 12/6/18
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