by Daniel White
A sure sign a movie is not working for me is when I start reimagining it as being parodied by The Carol Burnett Show. Unfortunately, this happened while watching The Big Parade (1925). As John Gilbert wailed histrionically about the futility of war (silently, natch) in a fox hole with his buddies, I began turning it into a farce. Featuring Harvey Korman and Tim Conway as the pals and guest star of the week (Steve Lawrence?) playing Jack. Of course, our Carol will shine, mugging as the feisty French farm girl, and with Vicki Lawrence tackling the love interest back home, Voila! You have the makings of a side-splitting comedy sketch.
Directed by King Vidor for MGM, The Big Parade's reputation as one of the greatest silent films of all time made it a must-see for me. A difficult flick to find (most of MGM's films are next to impossible to watch gratis), it inexplicably turned up on YouTube the other day. The copy was exceptional and even with no musical accompaniment, I was giddy with high expectations.
What a disappointment. The story of Jim Apperson and his journey from idle rich boy to seasoned WWl vet is a sprawling, episodic epic that barely registers. Corny, dated and uninspiring, it rolls along and rolls along but never really gets anywhere. Gilbert is fine as the lead. It's easy to see why this and The Merry Widow, a much better movie released the same year, made him a big star. The roly-poly Renee Adoree is fine as Melisande, Jack's overseas fling, but Karl Dane's portrayal of Slim, one of his army pals, is grotesque. Constantly chewing tobacco, then spitting out the juice, while making garish faces, the performance practically sinks the whole flick. What a relief it was when the "Heinies" finally shot him. A mercy killing if there ever was one.
I love silent cinema and have seen enough non-talkers to know many of them transcend their time and place. However, The Big Parade is not one of them. At 2 1/2 hours, it's about 2 hours too long. The Big Parade is currently available on YouTube.
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