Friday, November 22, 2024

The 23 Biggest Flops of 2024

 



Critics and cinema pundits continue to insist that the film business is in trouble because the comic book movie bubble has burst  and that fans suffer from superhero fatigue. The thing is, this theory fails to account for the dozens of high-profile bombs from various other genres year after year. The truth is that Hollywood seems determined to bank on titanic productions with no discernible audience (musicals about supervillains, for instance) -- or that alienate the respective audiences who would've shown up had they not been conditioned to expect to be insulted by the very thing that studios want them to spend hard-earned money on. The following films are merely the latest examples of Hollywood offerings that movie buffs either elected to watch in the comfort of their own respective homes or simply bypassed altogether.
 



23. Arthur the King



Loss: $2 million





22. Miller's Girl


Loss: $4 million





21. Cuckoo



Loss: $4 million





20. The Watchers



Loss: $5 million

It seems the apple sometimes falls very far from the tree, as super director M. Night Shyamalan's daughter Ishana's directorial debut failed to capture the interest of horror fans.





19. Back to Black



Loss: $6 million

Hiring the director of Fifty Shades of Grey for Amy Winehouse's biopic may not have been the wisest decision, as borne out by the film's low critical scores -- and paltry ticket sales.





18. Abigail



Loss: $8 million





17. Lisa Frankenstein


Loss: $9 million





16. Monkey Man



Loss: $9 million

The $10 million that Universal shelled out to acquire star Dev Patel's directorial debut, combined with the $16 million they spent on TV promo, on top of its $10 million budget made Monkey Man a losing proposition.





15. I.S.S.


Loss: $11 million





14. Kinds of Kindness



Loss: $13 million

Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos' resume is littered with weird films, which may explain the poor box-office reception for his latest offering.





13. Civil War



Loss: $13 million

A combined production budget and P&A of $70 ensured that writer/director Alex Garland's latest release failed to break even.





12. The American Society of Magical Negroes



Loss: $14 million





11. Drive Away Dolls


Loss: $18 million





10. Challengers



Loss: $20 million

Audience interest proved to be too little to overcome the combined production and marketing budgets for what essentially amounts to a big screen Lifetime movie.





9. The Bikeriders



Loss: $28 million

This star-studded biker bio drummed up so little business that it was sent to streaming a mere 18 days after its theatrical debut.





8. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare



Loss: $48 million

In keeping with his aping cinematic sampler Quentin Tarantino's style, writer/director Guy Ritchie applies his schtick to WWII (not unlike Inglorious Basterds) for this military caper loosely based on true events. The problem is that audiences seemed to have grown tired of his act years ago.





7. The Fall Guy



Loss: $130 million

While the film adaptation of 1980s television series The Fall Guy provides plenty of cinematic spectacle, its goofiness, combined with the fact that the plot makes much less sense than the source material's premise, is likely what turned moviegoers off. And spending a reported $220-$230 million on production and marketing made it a less-than-worthy gamble.





6. Fly Me to the Moon



Loss: $85 million





5. Madame Web


Loss: $92 million





4. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga



Loss: $95 million

Unsurprisingly, a Mad Max movie that only features Max in a cameo incurred even greater losses than its predecessor, which relegated the titular hero to a sidekick role.





3. IF



Loss: $91 million

When it comes to family entertainment, Edith Grimes is apparently no match for Garfield, as the orange tabby gobbled up moviegoers' money like it was lasagna and left IF in his dust.





2. Joker Folie a Deux



Loss: $197 million

Perhaps it should've gone without saying but, apparently, very few moviegoers wanted to see a musical about comic book villains. Go figure.





1. Argylle


Loss: $240 million

Monday, August 26, 2024

The Ending of "Alien: Romulus" is a Letdown

 

by John Zenoni


‘Alien: Romulus’ is just one more unnecessary entry in the ‘Alien’ franchise. The original from 1979 and its sequel, ‘Aliens’, released in 1986, are the best of the films and - as I have told my moviegoer friends - Ridley Scott should have stopped with those two. I will say that this latest did have a couple of good scares and is better than the last two but the story is just not believable, particularly since the cast looks like a bunch of high school kids! The ‘surprise’ ending also was such a let down considering what the filmmaker and special effects team could have done. Needless to say, another disappointing and not needed ‘Alien’ film.

Friday, August 16, 2024

"Longlegs" Review

 

by John Zenoni


So, not only was I nervous about going in to see this film, as I really do not care for that genre anymore, but I was also apprehensive, as I was not sure what kind of quality film this would be. There are so many attempts at scare/horror today and most of them are failures. However, I will say that ‘Longlegs’ definitely gives others a run for their money. While not the scariest film I've seen, it's very creepy, indeed. It's one of those slow-burning films that stays with you after you leave the theater.

While the story alone about a serial killer is messed up (creepy) and the cast does a credible job, the absolute highlight has to be the performance given by - and he is also a producer of the film - Nicholas Cage. As usual, in most of his latest roles, he is so bizarre and yet he fits into the character of Longlegs perfectly! He definitely freaked me out and this is one film I will not watch again, as once is enough!

Thursday, August 15, 2024

"Deadpool & Wolverine" Has Been Done A Thousand Times

 

by Robert Zenoni


Okay! So, Deadpool & Wolverine was the first movie I’ve seen in theaters since Spiderman; No Way Home. And for me it had its funny moments and a nice ending; cool action scenes but overall it's a movie that’s been done a thousand times. Our protagonist finds out something is wrong, he finds someone who doesn’t want to help him to end up helping him and they succeed in the end. The plot is simple, and that's fine because what else are you going to do for a “super hero” movie.

Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman are good in the movie and seem to have a good chemistry. And everything is timed pretty well for punchlines to jokes. There is some blasphemy and there are scenes throughout the film people may think are too much -- which is just up to the person. Overall, good movie and it was cool to see in the credits that his son and wife made secret cameos, along with some people you would not expect.

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

"A Good Girl's Guide to Murder" Review

 

by John Zenoni


What a great murder mystery series! The latest Netflix entry, ‘A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder’, delivers on so many levels, most importantly the storyline and performances. I have never read the books on which this series is based but this adaptation is so good that I'm going to have to read them and I do hope they will continue making new episodes!

The main character, Pip, played by Emma Myers, keeps you so engaged with her brilliance and intuition that you can’t wait to see what she's going to uncover next. In this series, Pip lives in an area where young schoolgirl Andie Bell was supposedly killed by her lover, Sal Singh, five years prior, who is said to have killed himself after leaving a confession. Pip teams up with Sal’s brother, Ravi, to dig further into the crime to see if all this is actually true and once the digging starts they uncover things that don’t add up. This series definitely pulls you in and keeps you guessing! Highly recommend!

Thursday, August 1, 2024

"Chernobyl" Review

 

by Robert Zenoni


I’m a little late to the party but… FANTASTIC! FANTASTIC! FANTASTIC! Like all tragedy, disaster, destruction and death, we as humans don’t read into more than what we feel comfortable doing, especially when we were not born at the time it happened. So all my life I was like, “Wow, Chernobyl that’s terrible…. anyways...” But now I do have an interest in this subject matter because it’s just so important to remember history. 

Chernobyl is a great series that tells its audience what the social, economic, political and literal fallout was when the Chernobyl nuclear power plant reactor core number four exploded and is known as the worst nuclear disaster in history. This shows tells you how the Soviet Union tried to cover up the disaster and how nuclear physicist Valery Legasov was boots on the ground and helped save millions of lives. Along with telling you about all that, it shows you what happened to the men who were at the reactor; first with all the radiation they absorbed along with all the people of Pripiyat, the city closest to the power plant. 

I know this is more of a praising session than a review but it's a fantastic and brutal series. So prepare yourself if you haven’t seen it but it truly is fantastic. Jared Harris and Stellan SkarsgÃ¥rd are great and the shows poses the question, "What is the cost of lies?" In this instance, anywhere from 4,000-93,000. That is the cost of lies. Enjoy the show! 

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

The 35 Best Movies of 2023

 



While 2023 will be remembered for an unprecedented number of high-profile, big-budget flops (leading to the mistaken belief that the comic book movie bubble has popped), it also gave us a multitude of rewatchable films. Here are the best 35:





35. The Zone of Interest













34. A Season for Family





When single mom Maddy takes her adopted son, Wesley, to her hometown for Christmas she meets widower, Paul, who has an adopted son of his own. And as it turns out, the boys are actually brothers! Because his ski shop is struggling, Paul's considering moving out of state. So will this ready-made family ever get together? The person who steals the show, however, is Paul's loving sister, Taylor, who fears the potential geographical barrier to her only family.









33. Out of Bounds





Though it fits squarely in the trashy thriller genre, Out of Bounds is well-acted, boasts better than average production values and is headlined by a lead actress (Karen Obsilom) who's impossible to turn away from.









32. Stan Lee













31. When Love Springs













30. To Kill A Tiger





A father faces down ingrained tradition, apathetic law enforcement personnel, community ostracization, hostile neighbors (male and female) and death threats in his rural Indian village during his quest to obtain justice for his daughter, who was gangraped at 13-years-old.









29. Kandahar




Gerard Butler's having a banner year, with two good movies invading cineplexes -- one of which proved to be a surprise hit in Hollywood's January dumping ground. This particular Butler experience takes on the politics of modern-day Afghanistan and illuminates what a clusterf*ck the entire region has become in that regard. The CIA, MI6, Pakistan Intelligence, the Taliban, ISISK and a British media outlet all converge in a complex thrill ride that improves with subsequent viewings.





28. A Winning Team




When pro soccer star Emily is suspended for unsportsmanlike conduct, she spends her mandated downtime with her brother and niece and learns some life -- and love -- lessons along the way. 









27. What Goes Around








26. I Got A Monster




The citywide scandal involving Baltimore's corrupt Gun Trace Task Force is chronicled.





25. The PA and the Manhattan Prince













24. Chevalier





Chevalier explores the legend of  18th century Parisian celebrity Joseph Bologne. Thanks to racism, the accomplished Chevalier de Saint Georges' exploits were lost to history for a time. But this peak into the life of the most prominent Black Frenchman of his time goes a long way towards making things right. If only it hadn't veered perilously close to shoving its own subject aside in favor of morphing into a propaganda film for white feminism.





23. Oppenheimer



Christopher Nolan chronicles theoretical physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer's efforts to beat the Nazis and Russia in an arms race to develop the weapons of mass destruction that would eventually be dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima at the end of WWII.





22. Mystery on Mistletoe Lane




After Heidi uproots her life for a new job and moves into her new Boston home, her kids stumble upon a Christmas-themed scavenger hunt -- and sparks fly between her and a new colleague.






21. Killers of the Flower Moon




A racist conspiracy involving the theft of a Native American community's land rights and proceeds from the sale of oil is chronicled in this adaptation of a true life event that occurred a century ago.





20. Reggie



Legendary baseball player and MLB Hall of Famer Reggie "Mr. October" Jackson discusses his life and career -- and how both were impacted by racism.





19. Stand



Former NBA great Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf recounts his journey from high school phenom to NCAA superstar to being blackballed from professional basketball in the U.S. and all of his political activism and struggles with Tourette's Syndrome in between. Before Kaepernick knelt, Abdul-Rauf sat.






18. The Covenant





The year's other drama involving a military man fleeing from insurgents with help from a native translator proved to be a welcome departure from director Guy Ritchie's signature style. Though the film's blatant American jingoism is odd considering the whole thing was overseen by a Brit, the story's still worth two hours of your time.   









17. White Men Can't Jump














16. The Little Mermaid





While The Little Mermaid was a domestic success, it was DOA overseas. Due to the complaints of online trolls regarding the main character being portrayed by an African-American actress as opposed to a white cartoon, there's widespread speculation that racism is to blame for the movie's collapse. If so, the racists really missed out, since the film's only real problem is the ever-irritating presence of Awkwafina. 









15. The Perfect Find














14. Blood & Gold





In this Inglorious Basterds-esque thrill ride (but more entertaining than that revenge tale), a German army deserter teams up with a young woman to take on Nazis on the hunt for gold stolen from Jews in her town. 









13. Arranged Love





In this good version of Crazy Rich Asians, runaway bride and orphaned Meera reluctantly flies back to her native India -- with fake husband in tow -- in order to trick her aunt and uncle into believing that she's satisfied the terms for receiving her inheritance. Will she get the funds needed to save her startup? Will a real wedding be in her near-future? Where does her actual boyfriend fit into all of this? Homecoming shenanigans ensue in Crazy Rich South Asians (if you will).









12. Christmas Time Capsule





Tiffany's been secretly in love with her best friend, James, for years. So, when he reveals during a surprise visit that he's planning to propose to someone else on Christmas Day, she's devastated. Tiff now has three days to convince her bff -- during a road trip from LA to Chicago -- that she's the woman for him.









11. The Boys in the Boat













10. Sisu





In this WWII tale, a unit of Nazis find out the hard way that there are some people who you f*ck with and some who you don't. 








9. Murder Mystery 2



Amateur New York detectives Nick and Audrey are back to solve another murder in an exotic locale in Netflix's best mystery-comedy to date.





8. Plane



After commercial pilot Brodie Torrance is ordered to fly through a storm by an airline executive in order to save fuel, his plane is struck by lightning and loses power, forcing him to land on an unknown island in the Philippines. When a local terrorist group abducts most of the surviving passengers and crew, Torrance must draw on his RAF training in order to assist former GCP French Foreign Legion member Louis Gaspare and a Special Forces rescue team sent to liberate them.





7. The Other Zoey




The Other Zoey is essentially the Scream of romantic-comedies. It paradoxically both embraces and flouts the conventions of its genre. It also features characters who voice said genre's rules. 





6. G*dzilla Minus One



Sixty-nine years after his debut -- and rebooting the series nine years after Hollywood did the same thing -- the best Japan-produced film about the notorious radioactive tyrannosaur arrived, taking the cinematic world by storm. And, unlike in the current American run of movies featuring the behemoth, this version of the colossal reptile is no ally to mankind.

Set in 1945, kamikaze pilot Koichi Shikishima witnesses a dinousaur-like kaiju attack a military garrison on Odo Island. Following the end of WWII, the creature rampages closer and closer to mainland Japan, while Shikishima grapples with the shame of shirking his duty, until it finally wreaks havoc on Ginza, causing untold property damage and killing thousands. Struggling with severe PTSD, the former pilot joins a group of other veterans in a last bid to destroy the monster.





5. The Creator



In the year 2070, U.S. Army Sergeant Joshua Taylor discovers that the "weapon of mass destruction" created by AI-friendly New Asia in their war with the United States has the body and outlook of a preteen girl. Defying orders, he declines to destroy "Alpha O" in the hopes that it'll lead him to his estranged wife, Maya, the daughter of legendary AI-developer, "Nirmata". His journey instead leads him to revelations that he never could've imagined to be true.









4. Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match





Never mind the plumbers and web-slingers, the best animated movie of the year stars an aspiring Hollywood action icon. Johnny Cage's origin story is 2023's must-see "cartoon" adventure.

In Johnny's previous animated movies, Scorpion's Revenge and Battle of the Realms, he's a comic relief character and Sonja Blade's verbal and physical punching bag. But here, although the film is an action comedy, he's treated with respect by the story and is the primary and intentional hero. 

Cage is vain, shallow and obsessed with fame -- but -- far from a clown, he's also presented as hardworking, brave and tenacious -- even when he knows that the odds are against him. Perfectly cast, Joel McHale brings the kickboxer to life by bringing a liberal amount of Jeff Winger's persona along from Community. The lineup is rounded out by voice actor extraordinaire Phil Lamarr, Gilbert Gottfried, Kelly Hu and Jennifer Grey as herself. Forget American PsychoThe Wolf of Wall Street and The Wedding SingerCage Match is one of the best 80s period pieces to date -- it's certainly the funniest --with homages galore to the decade's big feature films, from Lethal Weapon and The Karate Kid to Die Hard and Big Trouble in Little China to Dragnet and The Golden Child. Even the music, from the score's synths and saxophone to the pop songs, is 80s-appropriate -- not to mention the Christmas setting. It's also the greatest Mortal Kombat movie, which is admittedly a much lower bar to clear.









3. The Flash






Barry "the Flash" Allen (two of them, acyually) is upstaged by the Snyderverse Kryptonians and Kara Zor-El (the first good live-action Supergirl) in his first solo feature film that, in spite of some goofiness, multiple plot-holes and shoddy visuals, still manages to rise above several other DC (not to mention, MCU) movie offerings. Nevertheless, The Flash's box-office failure is immensely satisfying if for no other reason than the fact that actor Ray Fisher was unceremoniously written out of it.

The film's also refreshingly self-aware of how grating the title character's personality has been/is. Unfortunately, the filmmakers seemed to lack a similar level of insight regarding the Burton-era Batman's age as it relates to his inexplicable physical prowess.









2. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3





Aside from Groot -- who's adult again and boring now -- and Rocket -- whose critical condition robs him of his comedy chops -- the Guardians' trilogy-closer improves on its predecessor -- and the series' abominable holiday special -- in nearly every other way. Of particular note is the fact that the team finally faces a compelling villain, the High Evolutionary, after battling two wet blankets (Ronan the Accuser and Ego the Living Planet) in as many films.





1. Extraction 2




Tyler Rake's second cinematic mission proves to be just as exhilarating as his first -- and well worth the three-year wait for its streaming debut. What's concerning is the tell-tale ending -- complete with headliner Chris Hemsworth's MCU castmate, Idris Elba -- that suggests that this particular series is cueing up to expand into its own universe. And the movie's biggest flaw is the incongruous insertion of humor in one of their scenes together, which is neither wanted or needed in this saga about mercenaries and the brutal lives that they lead. 

Sequels often invite comparisons to the film(s) that preceded them. But the Extraction movies are so intrinsically linked and similar (in narrative, tone and personnel) that ranking them seems inappropriate. Extraction 1 and 2 are simply two halves of a single story.