Captain America's Reign Over the MCU Continues in "Civil War"

For the second year in a row, two big movie franchises released films that told almost the same story. In 2015, Mission: Impossible's Rogue Nation and the unwatchable James Bond flick, Spectre, were both about the revelation that underground international intelligence organizations existed and were out to wreak havoc on the world. Each movie also featured British superspy/assassin and a villain behind a wall made of bullet-proof glass.

In 2016, two blockbusters told the story of superheroes involved in mass destruction and accidentally causing mass civilian casualties during their struggles against super-powered enemies, and the subsequent attempts at government oversight of said heroes. One of those films is Batman v. Superman and the other is this movie. 

Civil War is a very loose adaptation of the 2006 comic book storyline of the same name. In the movie version, the U.S. Department of Defense and the U.N. step in after the last straw in Avengers-related mayhem -- the Scarlet Witch's accidental killing of a bunch of bystanders during a mission to catch The Winter Soldier's Brock Rumlow. During a meeting between the team and the U.S. Secretary of Defense, some of the previous missions that ended in collateral damage come up, including: the NYC invasion; the heli-carrier crashes in D.C.; Iron Man's fight with the Hulk in Lagos; and the Sokovia battle. But aside from a grieving mom slapping the shit outta Tony Starks for accidentally killing her son, and Helmut Zemo's revenge mission, there's no real focus on the actual victims. Speaking of victims, it seems to me that the Scarlet Witch should've had a much harder time getting over her brother's death in The Age ofUltron -- her twin brother and only family, at that. But what do I know?

And, hey, Ant-Man's finally a part of the team. But, if he was gonna be included, why change the Ultron story so that Starks and Bruce Banner are his creators instead of Henry Pym? It's a fairly fundamental change, too. I gotta say, that puts a whole lotta dirt on Starks' resume. He was an international arms dealer and he devised a killer robot that nearly succeeded in destroying the planet? This guy's beginning to look like a threat to humanity. It's a lot.

It was also disappointing to see the Falcon in a much less realistic costume and the stupid drone is one of those things you leave in the comic book.  Actually, it's too dumb for comics, too. Black Widow is still running around on combat missions having not bothered to tie her hair back, and this time around, despite the fact that she's superpower-free, she's not bothering to bring firearms along. Wtf. It's stuff like this that makes it a good idea for neither of them to have their own movie.  And they were both so great in The Winter Soldier. As they say: "One step forward and two steps back." As good as it is, Civil War definitely registers a few spikes on the ridiculosity meter. 

But it's still entertaining as shit and the good far outweighs the bad. The best things about Civil War are: Captain Rogers' finally-resumed hunt for the Winter Soldier; the Black Panther's and Zemo's respective quests for vengeance; and the brawl involving Iron Man, the Captain and Bucky. Incidentally, both Black Panther and Spider-Man get their amazing MCU introductions in Civil War. By the way, props to the Russo brothers (the movie's directors) for not putting Zemo in costume. It was also nice to see Rogers finally get some action -- even if it was only a kiss. 

After his introduction in a war movie (The First Avenger) an even better spy thriller (The Winter Soldier) and a straight-up comic book showdown (Civil War) the leader of the Avengers has the best trilogy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  


Originally published 6/15/16



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The Joker's Getting His Own Movie

Batman's most famous rival will be headlining a movie in the DCEU in the near-future. Warner Brothers and DC have announced that an as-yet unnamed actor will attempt to fill the murderous clown's shoes in an origin story set in the early 1980s. The Hangover-director Todd Phillips will co-write and possibly direct. Legendary director Martin Scorcese may be involved in some non-directorial capacity as well.

The clown's origin has previously been depicted in 1989's Batman and referenced in 2008's The Dark Knight.

Updated 8/24/17

Apparently, Warner Bros. and DC were listening when moviegoers complained about the Joker's lack of screen-time in last year's Suicide Squad. A day after announcing plans to produce a Joker origin movie, the two studios divulged that the prankster will also be featured in an upcoming Joker and Harley Quinn film. Jared Leto and Margot Robbie will reprise their Suicide Squad roles in what I'm guessing will be a Bonnie and Clyde-style super-villain movie. If all of that weren't enough, Suicide Squad 2 has been green-lit as well. There's no word yet on who'll be handling the directing and writing duties.

Obi-Wan Kenobi's Getting His Own Movie

by Ran Britt

Now the teacher becomes the star. It looks like Lucasfilm and Disney are taking one more step toward rendering the Star Wars prequel trilogy completely unnecessary. The two companies have just announced that Luke Skywalker's original sensei will headline his own adventure. I'm guessing it will premiere no sooner than the summer of 2021 since the Han Solo prequel and Episode IX are scheduled for 2018 and 2019 releases, respectively. And don't forget there's a Boba Fett prequel in the works as well.

So far, Obi-Wan's biggest showcase has been in the worst Star Wars film to ever grace a movie screen -- Attack of the Clones. So they may as well title his upcoming entry Redemption. Personally, I've never been interested in Kenobi's story but if the filmmakers take inspiration from Rogue One this could be something special.





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The Greatest Space Movies of All Time

The 9 Best Eclipse-Themed (and Quasi-Related) Movies

Originally Posted 8/16/17

Eclipse-mania is ramping up and won't abate until August 22 -- the day after the upcoming big event. So why fight it? You may as well embrace it. Snag a pair of NASA-approved solar glasses, unwrap a stick of Eclipse gum, punch a straw into a Capri Sun, throw Black Moon's first album on and crank up the volume and then watch a couple of these movies that are at least tangentially-related to eclipses.





Eclipse

Honestly, this third entry in the Twilight series is only on the list because of its title. Look at the bright side -- If you go blind staring at the sun, at least you won't have to watch Eclipse.









Dark of the Moon

Dark of the Moon is the third-worst Transformers movie and it's not about an eclipse -- lunar or otherwise. But the title should get you in the mood for the big day.









Near Dark

Though the title may suggest otherwise, Near Dark doesn't feature an eclipse. Instead it focuses on a rowdy gang of vampires (for whom sunlight is lethal) that would beat the shit outta Kiefer Sutherland and the Lost Boys without breaking a sweat. Near Dark was the most hardcore vampire movie of the 80s -- bar none. And the title's good enough for this list.









Before Sunset

Sunset picks up nine years after American Jesse and French Celine met on a train and spent one night together in Vienna. They'd agreed not to exchange contact info but to meet in Austria again in six months' time. Celine never showed up and they moved on with their lives. But a chance encounter brings them face-to-face in Paris. So there's no eclipse in Sunset. It made the cut because of its title.









Sunshine

The Sun isn't being eclipsed by the moon in Sunshine, it's dying -- which is far worse. The movie revolves around an international crew of specialists on a mission to reignite the dying Sun with a mega-ton nuclear bomb in the year 2057.









30 Days of Night

What takes place during 30 Days of Night isn't an eclipse but a polar night, which has the same effect but for a much longer period of time (night that lasts for more than 24 hours). As the title suggests, the darkness lasts for a month in this case. 

A group of enterprising vampires exploit this phenomenon in order to feed on an Alaskan town to their collective heart's content. This is one of the best vampire movies of all time.









Dragonslayer

Sorcerer's apprentice Galen Bradwarden sets out on a quest to rescue a princess from being sacrificed to a 400-year-old dragon. The confrontation with the dragon takes place during a solar eclipse.

Ladyhawke

Medieval knight Etienne of Navarre is the victim of a curse that causes him to transform into a wolf when the sun sets. The woman he loves, Isabeau d'Anjou, is afflicted by the same curse. In her case, she transforms into a hawk every dawn. Hence, the couple can only be together during "a day without night and a night without day" -- a solar eclipse.









Pitch Black

A group of space-farers crash land on a planet with three suns but the survivors manage to make do. But an eclipse allows the planet's photosensitive and extremely predatory inhabitants to leave their subterranean dwellings and roam the surface. The good news for the crash survivors is that one of them has sick survival skills and surgical implants that allow him to see perfectly well in total darkness. The bad news is that he's a convicted murderer without an ounce of remorse.






Bonus:

Heroes

Heroes is what the X-Men movies should have been -- a world in which people born with diverse superhuman abilities (mutants) face discrimination and government persecution and must unite in order to thwart menaces of their own kind (supervillains). This network television series far outshone the X franchise's unwatchable installments (except for Logan) with their six-figure budgets.

Everything kicks off when the title characters realize that they have special abilities following an October 1, 2006 solar eclipse.

Heroes deftly balances humor and lighthearted moments with an air of danger -- without ever being campy. This greatness is sustained through three entire seasons. The show's quality doesn't suffer until season four and is sadly not re-established in the ill-conceived Heroes: Reborn.

John's Early Review of "The Hitman's Bodyguard"

I got so irritated and bored with "The Hitman's Bodyguard" that I almost left the theater. I had a chance to see this via a screening and I can tell you that the best part of it was having the showing take place in a new theater with reclining seats. Those were very nice and I look forward to seeing future films in this type of theater. But I digress and speak on the film in question. 

I had high hopes that this was going to be a great film, especially with the cast, specifically Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L Jackson. Needless to say I hate to report that this was NOT the enjoyable ride I thought it was going to be. This was the same formulaic, buddy movie that has been done a thousand times in the past. There were so many cliches and one-liners used in other films and the plot was such that you could already see what was going to happen before it did. This was a very predictable film and while there one or two funny parts, overall it was disappointing and I am glad I did not have to pay to see it. Crap, crap, crap is all I can say...

- John Z.

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